试译浪淘沙--[唐】李煜

浪淘沙

[唐] 李煜

帘外雨潺潺，(1)

春意阑珊。(2)

罗衾不耐五更寒。(3)

梦里不知身是客，(4)

一晌贪欢。(5)

 

独自莫凭栏，(6)

无限江山。(7)

别时容易见时难。(8)

流水落花春去也，(9)

天上人间。(10)

 

诗词要点解说：

1. 李煜是五代十国时南唐国君，宝八年，宋军破南唐都城，李煜降宋，被俘至汴京，封为右千牛卫上将军、违命侯。

2. 第一段(1)(2)句交代时间，地点，并为整个词曲定调（悲怆的气氛）：门帘外传来雨声潺潺，浓郁的春意又要凋残。英译时，最好把春意随雨而去的气氛翻译出来。

3. 第(3)句转移时间到五更他在睡觉时，为下面第一段最后两句作气氛上的渲染和意思上的铺垫：那时罗织的锦被受不住五更时的冷寒。

4. (4)(5)句是本段高潮，也是本段小节思想，在这里他用反衬的修辞手法道出他被扣在异国的悲伤心情，他只有在梦中忘掉了自身是羁旅之客的身份时，才能享受到片时的欢娱。英译时，要能体现出这个反衬，使读者从他梦中的愉快看到他平时的不愉快。

5. 第(6)句，正因为他除迷梦以外其他时候都不愉快，他劝告自己不要独自一人依靠在栅栏上。

6. 第(7)和(8)句交代不要凭栏的原因，那就是那容易使他联想起辽阔无边的旧日江山。那个江山离别它是容易的，再要见到它就很艰难。英译这两个句子时，要交代出它们和上一句的因果关系，帮助读者理解它们之间的关系。

7. (9)(10)两句感叹，英译要有分量。“流水落花”是典故，要作典故译出。

试译“浪淘沙”，带半韵

 

Outside the curtain, as rain patters,

The sense of spring fades.

Although my silk quilt can’t resist the cold of dawn,

In dream, unaware I am a detained guest,

I can still feel happiness.

 

Alone, I shouldn’t lean on the balustrade,

For stretching before it, far and wide, is my old land,

Easy to leave, but hard to return to.

Water flows, Blossom falls, and spring goes,

The nadir I’ve dropped to from heaven is what remains.

 

译文还不成熟，待修改。

 

所有跟帖： 

• 应该说明，译文不能完全算我的，同属海外逸士和Askerfor，里面有他们的成分。 -聚曦亭- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/20/2012 postreply 09:49:04

• Great cooperation! I like it! -非文学青年- ♀ (69 bytes) () 09/20/2012 postreply 10:04:20

• 回复：应该说明，译文不能完全算我的，同属海外逸士和Askerfor，里面有他们的成分。 -askerfor- ♀ (57 bytes) () 09/20/2012 postreply 11:32:30

• i think the last line is about the feelings of being far apart? -sportwoman- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/20/2012 postreply 10:07:12

• 回复：i think the last line is about the feelings of being far apar -askerfor- ♀ (277 bytes) () 09/20/2012 postreply 11:43:29

• if this is what the poet wanted to carry out in his poem -sportwoman- ♀ (321 bytes) () 09/20/2012 postreply 12:31:11

• 回复：if this is what the poet wanted to carry out in his poem -askerfor- ♀ (358 bytes) () 09/20/2012 postreply 13:43:27

• 不能把逸士气跑了 -sportwoman- ♀ (283 bytes) () 09/20/2012 postreply 15:26:38

• 回复：不能把逸士气跑了 -askerfor- ♀ (198 bytes) () 09/20/2012 postreply 17:00:56

• 没误会啦，两件事情，1)leave 李煜him with some hopes. 2)别气跑逸士. -sportwoman- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/20/2012 postreply 17:08:58

• 我以为你们挤兑他呀 -sportwoman- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/20/2012 postreply 17:12:27

• 回复：我以为你们挤兑他呀 -askerfor- ♀ (55 bytes) () 09/20/2012 postreply 17:33:32

• haha! 是的，恐怕是误解了。才发现熟练掌握让人生气之技术，嵋屿滩舍我其谁！哈！ -sportwoman- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/20/2012 postreply 18:03:19

• 回复：haha! 是的，恐怕是误解了。才发现熟练掌握让人生气之技术，嵋屿滩舍我其谁！哈！ -askerfor- ♀ (39 bytes) () 09/20/2012 postreply 19:11:07

• if he gets mad and goes away I will take the responsibility of -sportwoman- ♀ (86 bytes) () 09/21/2012 postreply 11:47:20

• sorry I am going off topic. yes sure we should leave -sportwoman- ♀ (207 bytes) () 09/20/2012 postreply 16:06:32

• Try the first line: -李唐- ♂ (132 bytes) () 09/20/2012 postreply 10:53:11

• Nice! A couple of thoughts. -hammerheadshark- ♀ (1218 bytes) () 09/20/2012 postreply 16:22:57

• 谢谢各位大侠提供宝贵意见，再来一稿：浪淘沙 【唐】李煜 -聚曦亭- ♀ (6716 bytes) () 09/20/2012 postreply 17:48:36

• I agree with 海外逸士 on this line -hammerheadshark- ♀ (1972 bytes) () 09/21/2012 postreply 06:57:56

• I agree with you 鲨鱼兄。Guest is good -sportwoman- ♀ (1221 bytes) () 09/21/2012 postreply 07:39:53

• 本人看法，不一定对，仅供参考。用a detained guest, 道理有二: -聚曦亭- ♀ (685 bytes) () 09/21/2012 postreply 07:57:17