Among my Chinese friends and myself, we don't usually talk about how much we make, or how much money our spouse makes. Maybe because that we are not young people anymore. And we think it is kind of silly to brag about our income. Anyhow, I know none of us is super rich, so, there is no reason to brag about that :))) But if there is a close friend come to ask me such question, I don't mind to answer that, as long as he/she doesn't work in my company :)))
I can tell you that your friend is really underpaid as a programmer. Last year, the average starting salary for a newly graduated BS in computer engineering was $56000, so she did a right decision to looking for other job.