再谈妹妹故事 - 从另一边的角度

Forgive me, it is still faster to type in English.

As I mentioned before, I had experienced "the other side", ie, almost an ex-wife, so I would like to give my opinions from the other side.

It is very true, after children are born into the family, raising children and maintain a pleasant relationship with spouse is a challenge for many woman, especially when children are very young. I was not very young when I had my first child, after we had married for just one year. Medical complications and the challenging baby put me into a depression for quite a long time. Needless to say that my hu*****and was not happy then, and so he went out with a co-worker, a young, professional chinese woman.

I have no doubt about her love towards my hu*****and, and I believe they had a lot of fun together. I even believe they might be a good match to each other. We all know that there are many people we can be with happily. My hu*****and evetually returned home, after moved out for a week, because his family opened his eyes and he himself is a decent man. It was very painful when he saw the damages he had brought upon his children. He admitted that this chinese woman had affected him a lot. Without her expressing her desire towards him he would not have gone that far.

This incident taught me a lesson that I would like to share with other people. First of couse we all need to be loving and caring towards our spouse so we are happy together. Our children grow up the best in a happy family. Second, when someone still in marriage seek out for love (or so called friendships), we need to think about the negative influence on breaking up their families. My chidren had been affected by this incident, which broke both my hu*****and and my hearts.

So, now you can see why I cannot respect neither this man nor this woman. We make mistakes, but we should try our best to work them out if our children are still small. They need us, and it is our responsibility to provide them with the best environment. I don't know in person about the ex-wife in the story, we learned about her awfulness soly from the ex-hu*****and, which I doubt about the truth, because this ex-hu*****and did not initiate a divorce, until he met her. My hu*****and told me that he was shocked and flattered when he learned that that woman loved him, and that made him think about the possibilities..... A fat wife and crying child, a young professional woman and romantic dinner, you do the math....My children and I are fortunate because my hu*****and came from a good family, and my mother-in-law would not accept that woman as her daughter-in-law, saying a decent woman does not go out with a married man. My hu*****and returned home eventually, but that ex-wife is not as lucky.

The most chilling part of this story, to me, lies in the end, how this woman manipulated this man to ill treat his ex-wife and children. His ex-wife entitles spouse support by law, because she stayed home raising children. He has the responsibility to support her financially. The way she persuaded him to cut his income so he would not provide for his ex-wife and children was really evil, and if proved, would serve jail time for this. She even boasts for what she has done, is really beyond me.

I see a selfish man and a selfish plus unkind woman in this story. What she did towards breaking his family, and ill-treat his ex-wife and children, are un-forgivable. Decent people cannot be happy, once they realize that their happiness are built on other people's ruins and pains, especially their own children's. Unless this man will never recover his conscience, otherwise when the day comes, he will not be able to respect this new wife and himself. What goes around comes around, I do believe justice.

I will share this story with my hu*****and. I would like him to read about what this woman did to his ex-wife and children. So he will think again.

所有跟帖： 

• 可以理解你.咱的感觉真心希望EX幸福,感觉他也是受伤的那方. -pretty_woman2- ♀ (0 bytes) () 01/13/2010 postreply 23:07:20

• 理解你的感受,但你的故事和老姜与MM的是不一样的. -brickwall99- ♀ (267 bytes) () 01/13/2010 postreply 23:24:53

• 不敢苟同，你不是老姜，你怎么知道他的初衷。 这个故事 -sunnylily789- ♀ (213 bytes) () 01/13/2010 postreply 23:36:45

• 不苟同也是有理的.我们都不是老姜.正如凤凰所说, -brickwall99- ♀ (188 bytes) () 01/13/2010 postreply 23:48:39

• 神交？这年头还有人信这个？中年红／蓝颜知己？骗谁啊？ -Kamioka- ♀ (0 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 06:48:28

• Disagree here. 很显然老姜一直在找下家。 在没找到前他是不会离婚的。 -Joyyu- ♀ (0 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 08:26:36

• Unless that you two really love each other now -lucky_wife- ♀ (79 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 04:29:23

• 楼主先不要与先生分享凤凰MM的文章，搞清楚你先生和出走的事 -realizesomething- ♂ (2041 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 05:35:50

• Very thoughtful. Ding! -5thgirl- ♀ (0 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 07:34:12

• I understand your feelings -AugustMom- ♀ (796 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 05:00:52

• It's not easy for anyone to have an unbiased opionion -lucky_wife- ♀ (57 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 05:09:39

• 100% agree. -tlros- ♀ (0 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 05:56:01

• 对不起，跟错了。 -tlros- ♀ (0 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 06:48:27

• 不同意你的看法，无爱的婚姻没有存在的必要，个人的情感需要 -旧人新ID- ♀ (420 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 05:13:39

• Agree. -christianlily- ♀ (545 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 11:42:53

• agree with you. -brickwall99- ♀ (0 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 20:37:50

• 很高兴你能够认识自己的不足和提高自己婚姻的质量。但是 -bluespirit- ♀ (254 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 06:05:54

• 抱抱 -jael- ♀ (458 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 06:19:47

• If the Ex-Wife is evil, do you still blame Old Ginger? -5thgirl- ♀ (80 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 07:51:57

• I have a question: why do men say their wives are evil? -Kamioka- ♀ (436 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 08:12:00

• BS this: -Q_Bao- ♀ (66 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 09:23:35

• 回复：再谈妹妹故事 - 从另一边的角度 -世事无常- ♀ (399 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 06:40:26

• Agree --利字当头时，不要低估人性的丑陋。 -5thgirl- ♀ (0 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 07:53:24

• agree everything you have said. -tlros- ♀ (1430 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 06:47:01

• I still bleam 老姜, not "Sister". I like the sister a lot if the p -5thgirl- ♀ (174 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 07:59:50

• Try to imagine -tlros- ♀ (402 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 08:21:48

• Totally agree! 试问那些在婚中，尚且幸福的jms, -夏日绿影- ♀ (514 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 07:13:45

• 人是长期群居的动物，不同环境不同群落就有了不同的人性／动物性 -realizesomething- ♂ (0 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 08:16:29

• Agree -面对问题，要想到去解决，而不是逃避 -5thgirl- ♀ (0 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 08:36:43

• 如果他郁闷了10年，太该互相解脱了，没必要把两人的一辈子搭进去， -hsbuyer- ♀ (144 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 09:32:11

• 基本同意。如果每个人都能多站在别人的立场上考虑问题就好了 -憋子团- ♀ (218 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 08:26:43

• ding1a decent woman does not go out with a married man. -majorindulgence- ♀ (0 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 08:46:29

• "I see a selfish man and a selfish plus unkind woman in this sto -yingshanhong- ♀ (0 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 10:58:47

• 这么说就有点太断章取义了吧。我相信每个人每个家庭 -waterfallgarden- ♀ (311 bytes) () 01/14/2010 postreply 15:17:40

• well said -hlt- ♀ (0 bytes) () 01/15/2010 postreply 07:06:04

• I mean xiaomei500 -hlt- ♀ (0 bytes) () 01/15/2010 postreply 07:08:00

• And I can't believe someone wrote this kind of article to brag a -hlt- ♀ (0 bytes) () 01/15/2010 postreply 10:21:08