bear，这是我试着写并改的东西。经过这个piece，我对

＂let the meaning choose the word＂很有感受。
非常非常同意你的＂语言是为人民服务的， ＆not the other way around＂

---unspoken words----
can you hear the words unspoken
from the eyes, the pose and the smile?
the ocean of tears surges in the heart
the river of joys meanders in the mind

can you see thr the secrets of heart
from the songs, the poems and the brows?
the perpetual breeze flys with me
the message in the bottle drifts in the sea.

words not spoken linger in the air
teeming with melody softer than song
secrets of heart flow in the wind
unfolding the feeling deeper than sea.

(这是什么也没多想, no rhyming, no syllable count，只是表达想要表达的piece)

所有跟帖： 

• 这是试着改了第一段，加上了rhyme，其实，不完全是起初想表达的。 -戏雨飞鹰- ♀ (214 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 15:22:29

• 回复：这是试着改了第一段，加上了rhyme，其实，不完全是起初想表达的。 -hahaman- ♀ (106 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 17:11:40

• 对，韵是这些诗体的一个要求。否则，就不能叫做１４行诗了 -戏雨飞鹰- ♀ (515 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 20:46:02

• oh, this is a misplacement. meant to follow with the one below. -戏雨飞鹰- ♀ (0 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 20:52:25

• sweetie you are as fast as light -hahaman- ♀ (269 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 21:00:11

• 谢谢bear。你真的是博学，一点不错。learned. -戏雨飞鹰- ♀ (107 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 21:06:49

• sweetie，你的诗写的真是很流畅。 -hahaman- ♀ (395 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 21:24:02

• 别抒情了；）。 我这周有deadline要meet。晚安。 -戏雨飞鹰- ♀ (0 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 21:33:41

• Ok sweetie. I also have so much to do. Work is too much. -hahaman- ♀ (139 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 21:47:35

• hmm。 -戏雨飞鹰- ♀ (50 bytes) () 05/05/2010 postreply 20:07:19

• 刚要合上书本,your line make me忽然想起来你那个＂闪电门拴＂了：） -戏雨飞鹰- ♀ (105 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 21:30:16

• haha sweetie, how do you remember everything? -hahaman- ♀ (41 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 21:41:39

• flys-->>flies -戏雨飞鹰- ♀ (0 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 15:27:27

• bear，我跟着你练了这么多诗歌，这首是我比较 -戏雨飞鹰- ♀ (211 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 15:52:27

• sweetie 不要考虑韵除非是十四行等 -hahaman- ♀ (154 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 19:41:24

• this is -hahaman- ♀ (401 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 17:01:52

• 谢谢hahaman。我在看小人书。talk to u later。 -戏雨飞鹰- ♀ (0 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 18:25:16

• sweetie I read it again and again -hahaman- ♀ (141 bytes) () 05/05/2010 postreply 08:24:52

• great, -戏雨飞鹰- ♀ (27 bytes) () 05/05/2010 postreply 18:12:16