感情求助

hi everyone. I hope that I can get some of your help about my relationship. My boyfriend is an american, so I can think maybe people here are know more about western culture and can advice me?

We have been dated about two years. We loved each other very much. I can not image that I could find another one would love me that much.

However, I am always bothered by his health problem. He had a major spine surgery also some serious depression due to some unfortunate event. He has to take medicines everyday for the back pain and get his depression under control. For the moment, I do not see any of this influence our relationship. But I am really concerned about the future, and about having kids.

He mentioned to me last week that he wanted us to consider engagement. I was stunned. I think i have been trying to avoid his health issues, and now I have to face it. I told him that I want to think about the relationship, because I didn't know if I can committee. I did not mention specifically the reason of his health--i think that I might hurt him.

My heart aches when I think of losing him, then my sensetivity tells me I need to be responsible for my future. I feel very confused and indecisive. Can any of you give me some advice or share anything you know about depression? In the case I had to break up with him, should I tell him honestly it was becasue his health? He always expected us to stand by each other for whatever happens.

Thanks so much.

所有跟帖： 

• 我来说说我的看法 -yymountains- ♀ (413 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 15:13:06

• 可以问问你家人的意见。我觉得这样关键时刻，多听家里的忠告。 -canola- ♀ (191 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 15:23:40

• 回复：可以问问你家人的意见。我觉得这样关键时刻，多听家里的忠告。 -路遥远- ♀ (308 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 17:50:19

• 很替你、也替他难受。还是那句话，没有金刚钻别揽瓷器活。 -LoveUrself- ♀ (95 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 15:35:21

• 回复：很替你、也替他难受。还是那句话，没有金刚钻别揽瓷器活。 -路遥远- ♀ (296 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 15:41:32

• 是这样。其实你来问，就说明问题了。这个很困扰你，和他在一起 -LoveUrself- ♀ (42 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 15:43:53

• 回复：是这样。其实你来问，就说明问题了。这个很困扰你，和他在一起 -路遥远- ♀ (180 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 15:48:35

• 爱他，就好好珍惜缘分吧！！ -yymountains- ♀ (108 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 15:51:43

• 我爸爸年轻的时候身体也不好，人人都不看好我妈选他 -xialai- ♀ (506 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 15:42:21

• 我爸妈的一个女同学也是想你爸。可是，她BF还有depression. -LoveUrself- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 15:45:05

• 哎呀，是象，不是想。 -LoveUrself- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 15:46:14

• you will pay what you have gotten,nothing free -womanfrombeijing- ♀ (189 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 17:10:38

• 回复：you will pay what you have gotten,nothing free -路遥远- ♀ (725 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 17:42:49

• 回复：感情求助 -expectant- ♀ (2710 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 19:01:12

• 这帖子写得真好！ -canola- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 19:45:06

• co：这帖子写得真好！E文地道 -Xingfujiaren- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 20:18:41

• Well said! co：这帖子写得真好！E文地道 -檀香橄榄- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 21:43:48

• 回复：回复：感情求助 -路遥远- ♀ (91 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 22:44:00

• 还是要量力而为。You need to be strong. -大红鲤鱼- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 05:39:13

• 回复：感情求助 -红红的小辣椒- ♀ (56 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 20:10:48

• You should do some thorough research on his health conditions. -worriedmom1- ♀ (1416 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 21:02:52

• thank you all so much -路遥远- ♀ (1403 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 21:59:44

• Good for you. I would rather say you are so lucky to have -worriedmom1- ♀ (62 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 22:09:49

• 回复：Good for you. I would rather say you are so lucky to have -路遥远- ♀ (390 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 22:17:03

• 他很有骨气，我为他感到骄傲！我只能说你很现实，不想说你很自私 -红红的小辣椒- ♀ (307 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 22:43:10

• 不要给她太大压力了！ -大红鲤鱼- ♀ (956 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 05:57:42

• 这是正常的感情表达，她没任何错。。。：：：〉〉〉 -冷调- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 07:20:02

• 回复：他很有骨气，我为他感到骄傲！我只能说你很现实，不想说你很自私 -路遥远- ♀ (600 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 09:08:24

• 从流坛跟到跨坛，赞妹妹对他对己的坦率，没有坦率没法沟通， -小义子- ♀ (122 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 07:22:33

• thanks very much. -路遥远- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 12:18:32

• 提醒你研究发现失恋可使人免疫力下降，引发类心脏病症状甚至导致死亡。 -lovehumanbeing- ♀ (114 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 08:10:37

• 楼主担当不起这个男人。现在分比以后分好。 -大红鲤鱼- ♀ (54 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 08:28:22

• Hope so. -lovehumanbeing- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 08:48:17

• could have handled it gently and massaged it, so less pain on bo -LoveHumanBeing- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 09:01:24

• 回复：could have handled it gently and massaged it, so less pain on -路遥远- ♀ (371 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 09:13:49

• 回复：回复：could have handled it gently and massaged it, so less pain -lovehumanbeing- ♀ (416 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 09:36:49

• 我基本每天都给老公按摩后背,短短10分钟很有效果 -sundry- ♀ (274 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 22:20:40

• 顶你的“自己爱的人，会有冲动去为他们承担” -红红的小辣椒- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/09/2009 postreply 22:28:44

• 顶有担当的女人！还是那句“幸福是自己争取的”。 -大红鲤鱼- ♀ (80 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 06:05:30

• 很同意辣椒和鲤鱼的观点.付出的女人把主动权握在自己手里. -pretty_woman2- ♀ (117 bytes) () 08/11/2009 postreply 00:27:20

• 回中国作针灸治疗,也许有效.北京有宫廷正骨传人google下，应该缓解 -冷调- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 07:17:26

• 遇到一个爱你的好人不容易。妹妹珍惜吧。那些理由对我来说 -洋葱头儿妈妈- ♀ (97 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 07:29:03

• thanks. -路遥远- ♀ (184 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 08:44:32

• 是这个道理! -pretty_woman2- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/11/2009 postreply 00:28:34

• 别被这里所谓的depression诊断给吓着了。你没有被诊断出什么 -jasondand- ♀ (1072 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 08:14:04

• 回复：别被这里所谓的depression诊断给吓着了。你没有被诊断出什么 -路遥远- ♀ (299 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 08:40:14

• jason老婆，越来越发现你很可爱。 -canola- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 09:08:56

• 是呀,谁没有压力呀... -pretty_woman2- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/11/2009 postreply 00:30:50

• It is YOUR life, your future. -AidanMom- ♀ (265 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 11:20:03

• if you really love him, nothing can stop you being with him. i d -yatou- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 17:58:03

• 回复：if you really love him, nothing can stop you being with him. -yatou- ♀ (76 bytes) () 08/10/2009 postreply 17:58:50

• 如果我二十岁碰到这样的男人也许就分了,但现在会TRY,因为我们更成熟和坚强了. -pretty_woman2- ♀ (209 bytes) () 08/11/2009 postreply 00:20:16