我是在over-reacting 吗？

We went out today with kids. It generally went well. But I did noticed that he seemed to be 心事重重。 when I told him that my baby was clapping his hands, and told him a couple of times, he had no reaction at all. Was I not loud enough? We was walking by side by side. He should hear that. He did interacted with my baby a couple of times. But I could feel his interest in my baby is far less than his interest in his child.

A 姐妹here told me to watch out if he care his daughter much more than me and my baby. In his initial email he said:"So, my daughter can meet your baby." I noticed that he didn't say that they can meet each other. At 6:50am today, he sent me an email asking me to confirm that my baby would come today because his daughter would be excited about this. At 8:00am, he called to ask me about this while I was asleep.

His daughter was very happy and made my baby giggling and excited. There were times that I thought that his daughter was playing too rough with my baby. But he didn't say anything. I just tried to hold my baby and not let she carried him away.

He was very careful about his daughter's whereabout. Constantly telling her to stay out of traffic, etc.

Everything seemed to be fine and we were kind of happy. I did feel a little unsure because he didn't try to hold my baby at all and he seemed to be concerned and preoccupied.

He helped us to load stroller into the car and buckled my baby. His daughter was trying to give my baby another cookie and I refused. I told them that I was afraid that he might choke on it. Then, I gave him a hug and say goodbye to him. It seems he has something want to tell me. It was until now that I realized that he was probably thinking about me stopping by his place tonight in someway. But at that moment, I felt a little awkward because it appeared that he was ready to say goodbye. So, I offered to drive him and his daughter to his car. He agreed. Then his daughter jumpped into the back seat. I asked him:"Do you want seat at the back seat?" He went straight and sit at the front seat. I felt so worried that his 7-year-old daughter might accidentially gave him something unsafe to eat. And my baby is used to have someone at the back seat to comfort him. So, when I got in the car, I asked him:"Could you please sit at the back seat?" He:"Lisa is there." I worried. He did not want to seat at the back seat. The baby was crying very loud by then. Mother's heart made me could stand that. I turned off my car and went to the back seat to comfort my baby. His tears were running down. I took him out of the car seat to comfort him. Then I asked again:"Would you please sit at the back seat? " He didn't answer for a while, while my baby was continusly crying. At that moment, I almost wanted to kick them out of the car and after making sure the baby couldn't get anything dangerous, I would drive home. But I held my temper. I told him:"I worried the baby might get something to choke himself. I had a friend his baby got some plastic into his mouth..." Before I finished my sentence, he cutted me off:"It is all right, Lisa is there." How could he be so sure a 7-year-old to make sure a 1 year old not get choked on something at dark? I kept silent. He finally asked:"You want me sit at the back? What about on your way home?" I 从牙齿缝里说："If YOU would like." He didn't move. My baby was still crying. After a while, he asked again:"You want me sit at the back?" This time, his daughter answered:"If you would like." I smiled at her and she smiled at me and she said to me:"He is crazy."

Then, he said:"What about I drive?" He got into the driver's seat and started the car. I told him:"Do not drive yet. The baby is not in his car seat." He said:"OK, I just turn it on." It was very difficult to get the baby into his car seat, especially with him playind with the music channel and navigation system. The baby was attracted to what was happening in the front seat and didn't want to sit at all. Finally, I had to ask him to turned off the car so I could get the baby in.

Finally, we got to his car. He first took his daughter to his car and then returned back to me to say goodbye. Then his daughter ran back and opened my car door to search for something. He was very worried that his daughter may run into traffic. His daughter said she lost her doll's necklace. It was something like an adult's ring and has some sharp edges on it. I immediately thought that we should look in the car and at least we need to make sure it was not in the reach of the baby. But he said:"You probably lost it somewhere else." Then, he told me:"It probably not in the car. She must dropped it somewhere else." But as a mother, I cann't take that chance. I still have about 20 minutes drive to be back home? What if he grabbed it and put it into his mouth? I didn't answer him. I just hope they leave soon so I can search the car myself to make sure no necklace, cookies, or anything else dangerous within the reach of the baby. Then, his daughter found the necklace right outside my car door.

I let them leave first by telling them that I need to comfort my baby for a while. After they left, I search my car to make sure.

On our way home, the baby cried all the way breathless. I felt so sad by letting my baby going throught this.

I am seriously thinking about breaking up with him. Was his behavior unacceptable? or he was just not careful enought? He was very very careful with his daughter though.

After I got home, my mom asked me if he held my baby. I said:"No." My mom said:"If he didn't hold him, that means he does not like him. 连抱都不抱一下。不管是谁，一定要对这孩子好。对孩子不好，谁都不行！“

我想关闭我的心门了。有时想找男人真不值当的。还不如关注自己的生活。

Then he called again telling me that normally he won't let me to stay in my own car and he left early, etc. I was surprised he didn't sense my emotional changes early at all. 咬牙切齿的跟他讲了几句，挂了电话。那意思好像是又想让我明晚去见他。

这个男人，好像除了性和他女儿，No Brain!

我是在over-reacting 吗？

所有跟帖： 

• 觉得你没有over-reacting -三更半夜瞎溜达- ♀ (464 bytes) () 11/17/2007 postreply 22:39:14

• 是啊，他的女儿是很可爱。 -back-to-dating- ♀ (91 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 00:05:44

• 我见过不少好男人，爱孩子，爱家，敬业，可遇不可求 -三更半夜瞎溜达- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 00:35:42

• 相信你自己的直觉吧。 但我觉得你可以更relax些。 -kathyzhang73- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 03:36:44

• lady, i am seriously telling u that u must leave him. -fanfan88- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 04:51:41

• u r not sensitive. before u dated, and now u backed to dating. -fanfan88- ♀ (1025 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 05:10:20

• 你男朋友确实很sweet, 我和老公结婚 -smiling_face- ♀ (221 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 07:57:35

• 你是家里财政部长？你老公花钱要找你要？ -实习探长- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 08:44:24

• 谢谢 -back-to-dating- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 11:42:13

• 还是找个没孩子的吧。你这样以后少不了吵架。他可能 -dorota- ♀ (32 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 08:19:11

• 孩子这么小，不要这么急着back to dating吧， -优哉潜水- ♀ (232 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 08:36:51

• 你说的很在理．等着跨过她的path的人吧． -实习探长- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 08:49:31

• 太对了. 先专注娃和你自己的生活,等你READY了,就容易多了. -alazycatinsd- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 10:38:40

• yes, you are, Btw, it seems he does love you at all, sorry so fr -maysuh- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 15:14:21

• sorry, it seems he doesn't love you at all -maysuh- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 15:21:40

• thanks for telling me. -back-to-dating- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/18/2007 postreply 23:01:45

• Happy Thanksgiving!! 谢谢大家！ -back-to-dating- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/22/2007 postreply 19:51:46