哪里, 你译得更纯正,还押韵呢, 这方面我得学学, 谢谢你的鼓励. 再试下

晓镜但愁云鬓改,  
夜吟应觉月光寒。  
蓬山此去无多路,  
青鸟殷勤为探看。 

By the mirror at dawn
She worries her hair losing its bloom
Chanting poems at late night
Surely he finds it sad in the moon light
There's barely a path towards Mount Penglai 
Would the blue bird be there and sight
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