评何新所译培根的“Of Beauty”的译文(第一段)

本帖于 2013-04-15 08:48:45 时间, 由普通用户 Lucidus 编辑

原标题:Of Beauty
何新:  《论美》
说明:    译文不够准确!培根在这篇文章里不是要谈论泛意的“美”,即不是要谈论花的美,鸟的美,自然的美,而是要说明什么样的人才算真正的美,即外表谦卑内有道德的人才算美,所以这里的“美”是指人的“美”,即“美貌”。
试译:  《论美貌》

培根原文第一段:Virtue is like a rich stone, best plain set; and surely virtue is best, in a body that is comely, though not of delicate features; and that hath rather dignity of presence, than beauty of aspect. Neither is it almost seen, that very beautiful persons are otherwise of great virtue; as if nature were rather busy, not to err, than in labor to produce excellency. And therefore they prove accomplished, but not of great spirit; and study rather behavior, than virtue.

解析:

原文:Virtue is like a rich stone, best plain set
释义:Virtue is like a rich stone. A rich stone looks the best when it is plainly mounted and so virtue looks the best when it is in a plain body.
何新:美德好比宝石,它在朴素背景的衬托下反而更美丽。
说明:这一句比较难处理,因为很难确定best  plain set到底是跟virtue有关还是跟rich stone有关。用对现代英语的感觉去体会,好像应该是跟virtue有关,但按此译成中文,又有点目明其妙。何新翻译时很喜欢添油加醋,在这里他恰恰采用了直译:“美德好比宝石,它在朴素背景的衬托下反而更美丽。”问题是,在什么情况下我们会用“背景”来衬托“美德”?很难想象有这种情况,所以这个译文有点突兀。我认为,把它处理成跟rich stone有关,更符合逻辑性。
试译:美德如宝石,宝石者,非素雅之镶嵌不能尽显其光彩。

原文:and surely virtue is best, in a body that is comely, though not of delicate features; and that hath rather dignity of presence, than beauty of aspect.
释义:and virtue is surely the best when it is in a body that is comely but not of delicate features and that has rather dignified appearance but not of peripheral beauty.
何新:同样,一个打扮并不华贵却端庄严肃而有美德者是令人肃然起敬的。  
说明:原文的意思是:在如此如此的身体里的virtuebest的,即如此如此的人最能显示出virtue来;而何新译文的意思则是:如此如此的人是如此。
试译:故美德之光彩,非俊雅而不娇艳、非端庄而不仅仅美艳之身躯不能尽显。

原文:Neither is it almost seen, that very beautiful persons are otherwise of great virtue; as if nature were rather busy, not to err, than in labor to produce excellency.
释义:It is rarely seen that very beautiful persons have virtue. This is so may be because nature is so busy that it would rather not produce beauty than to make mistakes.
何新:因而造物似乎是吝啬的,他给了此就不再予彼。所以许多美男子徒有其表却不是真正的男子汉,他们过于追求形体之美而忽略了内心的修养。
说明:何新的这一句译文基本达意,但他的译文是解释性的,不是翻译。
试译:然,大美之人中鲜见美德者,仿佛造化忙不择优,为求无过而舍求至美。

 

原文:And therefore they prove accomplished, but not of great spirit; and study rather behavior, than virtue.
释义:That is why beautiful people have made the achievements in their appearance but not in great spirit and they are more interested in behavior than in virtue.
何新:所以许多美男子徒有其表却不是真正的男子汉,他们过于追求形体之美而忽略了内心的修养。
说明:同样,译文太过解释性而非翻译。
试译:此何为美人虽有相貌但乏品性,重外表而轻美德也。

何新第一段的完整译文:
美德好比宝石,它在朴素背景的衬托下反而更美丽。同样,一个打扮并不华贵却端庄严肃而有美德者是令人肃然起敬的。因而造物似乎是吝啬的,他给了此就不再予彼。所以许多美男子徒有其表却不是真正的男子汉,他们过于追求形体之美而忽略了内心的修养。所以许多美男子徒有其表却不是真正的男子汉,他们过于追求形体之美而忽略了内心的修养。

聚曦亭第一段的完整译文:
美德如宝石,宝石者,非素雅之镶嵌不能尽显其光彩。故美德之光彩,非俊雅而不娇艳、非端庄而不仅仅美艳之身躯不能尽显。然,大美之人中鲜见美德者,仿佛造化忙不择优,为求无过而舍求至美。此何为美人虽有相貌但乏品性,重外表而轻美德也。

所有跟帖: 

培根的《论美貌》写于15世纪吧,写得很古朴,所以我采用了半文言的方法来翻译。 -聚曦亭- 给 聚曦亭 发送悄悄话 (148 bytes) () 04/14/2013 postreply 17:49:02

水平高!佩服! -非文学青年- 给 非文学青年 发送悄悄话 非文学青年 的博客首页 (52 bytes) () 04/14/2013 postreply 18:02:20

谢非文学青年美言! -聚曦亭- 给 聚曦亭 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 04/15/2013 postreply 07:18:28

谢小曼美言! -聚曦亭- 给 聚曦亭 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 04/15/2013 postreply 07:19:04

试译第二句 -小钊- 给 小钊 发送悄悄话 (1665 bytes) () 04/15/2013 postreply 02:41:35

好译! -聚曦亭- 给 聚曦亭 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 04/15/2013 postreply 07:20:11

第三句 -小钊- 给 小钊 发送悄悄话 (1386 bytes) () 04/15/2013 postreply 03:00:09

下面来自文言文词典:⑥<连>然而;但是。《鸿门宴》:“~不自意能先入关破秦。”查询 -聚曦亭- 给 聚曦亭 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 04/15/2013 postreply 07:27:49

英语里是平行关系,个人觉得中文在此转折比较好。谢谢提供意见! -聚曦亭- 给 聚曦亭 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 04/15/2013 postreply 07:26:48

培根,英国的文理先驱,一生大起大落,谢谢分享好文 -I_lovetravel- 给 I_lovetravel 发送悄悄话 I_lovetravel 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 04/15/2013 postreply 09:01:35

Great work! -Lucidus- 给 Lucidus 发送悄悄话 Lucidus 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 04/15/2013 postreply 09:30:35

Thanks! -聚曦亭- 给 聚曦亭 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 04/16/2013 postreply 08:05:17

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