回复:【非文青每周一文】Marriage--欢迎拍砖

本帖于 2011-08-08 06:22:10 时间, 由版主 林贝卡 编辑

Very nice! 

I am picky to let my envy go.

1) Title  Marriage --> My Marriage

2) I thought I could write something down about what my marriage has brought me from a woman’s perspective,(this sentence is not clear) --> I thought I could write something down about  marriage from a woman’s perspective, in particular about what my marriage has meant to me (or brought to me, etc..).

3) to commemorate our fifth wedding anniversary as well. En, our ---> my.

4) I don't understand why the sight of the old campus washed away your envy on the luxurious mansion. You may need to explain ...

5) Our household size doubled in the last three years, I could no longer just copy my tax return form from the previous year as the family kept expanding.  -- this is a running sentence.

5) I no longer watch ...; I became one....---> I've become one.

6) putting poker chips in his mouth  --->....into his mouth.

7) I no longer scream “TGIF”, relishing the prospect of a weekend---> to relish ....  8)7000-squre-foot   typo square

所有跟帖: 

A very nice piece of writing---forgot to add BiaoTi to my reply -DCH- 给 DCH 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 08/07/2011 postreply 19:45:21

谢谢DCH老兄出手! -非文学青年- 给 非文学青年 发送悄悄话 非文学青年 的博客首页 (3166 bytes) () 08/07/2011 postreply 23:27:03

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