谢谢DCH老兄出手!

来源: 非文学青年 2011-08-07 23:27:03 [] [博客] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 本文已被阅读: 次 (3166 bytes)
本文内容已被 [ 非文学青年 ] 在 2011-08-08 06:22:10 编辑过。如有问题,请报告版主或论坛管理删除.

1) Title  Marriage --> My Marriage

这个题目瞎写的,跟900句一致了。

2) I thought I could write something down about what my marriage has brought me from a woman’s perspective,(this sentence is not clear) --> I thought I could write something down about  marriage from a woman’s perspective, in particular about what my marriage has meant to me (or brought to me, etc..).

good suggestion. accepted.

3) to commemorate our fifth wedding anniversary as well. En, our ---> my.

,是有点儿象说我跟Carpediem的wedding似的哈。accepted.

4) I don't understand why the sight of the old campus washed away your envy on the luxurious mansion. You may need to explain ...

同意,后面Carpediem也提到,那几句flow不好,我再想想怎么组织句子,说明白一下。我是想说Seeing my old campus made me reflect on the changes my marriage has brought me and I changed my perspective and didn't feel envious anymore.

5) Our household size doubled in the last three years, I could no longer just copy my tax return form from the previous year as the family kept expanding.  -- this is a running sentence.

lilac mentioned this too. accepted.

5) I no longer watch ...; I became one....---> I've become one.

accepted.

6) putting poker chips in his mouth  --->....into his mouth.

accepted.

7) I no longer scream “TGIF”, relishing the prospect of a weekend---> to relish .... 

这个保留。我自己觉得relishing好一些。

8)7000-squre-foot   typo square

accepted.

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