希望请教一下坛子里的各位，如何处理以下问题, 过程比较细 =P，因为我真心希望得到并感谢各位的帮助：
一认识六年的白人朋友，我比他小近一轮。以前是同事，共事两年后各自有了同样领域的新工作，至今保持联系。我一直只将他看作好朋友，一点遐想都没有过。
当同事时，为一组且邻座，关系为友好，有公事上的交流，不过工作没有什么交错，一般就是职场心得上的交流，循序渐进为较好的朋友，平常闲聊时大概知道一些对方的家庭背景。从他聊起度假的细节时他有一同居四年的女友，感觉关系甜蜜。我没有男友但也从没有提及过我的私生活。基本上我们都没有询问各自的私生活。我想当时我们双方对对方都限位于朋友的态度。因为他回家会和女友提起工作细节，他的女友也知道我和他是朋友。
各自有新工作后，继续保持间断的email联系，就是相互交换工作性质和心得，节日和生日时的礼节性问候。由于我的岁数和对工作的热情有关，加之是对好朋友说话，我写文的风格较活泼。他常常回馈说看我的email "made his day"。有过两次互换vacation photos。见面接触大概就是每年夏天或圣诞时见面吃个饭，谈得也是各自的工作。只是有一次他问到：I am curious, since you never talk about your boyfriend, are you in a relationship? 我答没有过。他说 he is very surprised, because you are such a great girl. 我说, I am just very serious when it comes to relationships. 他说， I am sure there's a great guy waiting for you out there. 话题结束， 气氛挺自然的。 一年后我还就和当时相处的男士的一些问题上问过他的建议。期间他还是和女友在一起，貌似和谐。
问题始于去年，他开始在厌倦工作，经常take sick days off 和 take vacation。Email中常常complain他很stressed and tired. 我回信时尽量鼓励他. 打过一次电话，我觉得他好像开始有drinking problem. 后来一次会面时听了他诉几小时的苦。他说 you are my rock, 我笑笑。在好友中，我一般比较理智，所以朋友有工作上的问题都愿意找我谈和开解，觉得我很dependable, 所以习惯了。
去年下半年开始，他开始深夜给我短的email, 说miss我之类的，还问我do you ever think of me? 我很讶异，感觉他好像喝酒了，没理他。过一天后他email to say he's sorry. 我直接问他 is everything okay? 他答i think i just broke up with my girlfriend, 并说 we had a big argument and she threw things at me that almost hit me, and i asked her to leave the apartment. 他说他不能忍受暴力行为。我回信安慰他说，well it doesn't appear she's done that before, everyone has his/her own heat of the moment, talk things over。 我并没有回应他那些莫名其妙的短信息。之后我开始觉得我们的友谊好像变了，我不喜欢他，也不想介入他和她的mess。几个月没有任何联系。
年初他突然给了我一个email, 说thank you for your understanding. 然后说he's going on a vacation with girlfriend. 我感觉他恢复正常了，也为他和女友关系修复高兴。不过回邮只是淡淡的说，Have a great time. 又过了几个月，他email说 i just returned from a vacation with girlfriend(again), i had a really good time there. let's have dinner and catch up, i have a lot of changes in my life and have a lot to tell you. 我同意了。 因为他女友晚上要开车会友，定在中午。
见面前两天，他突然发了一堆short emails, 开始是confirm meeting time, 后来越来越活泼，要我穿sandals (我衣着一直很中性），并开始以love and honey来称呼我，并说 I think I love you。 我thought oh not again! 当时工作也忙，直接回避了那堆短message,说我很忙，要cancel meetup. 第二天他回信 No worries, love. 我继续沉默。过了几天，他写EMAIL， I'm sorry about my recent letters if they offended you. I'm really under a lot of stress right now. I'm sorry. 我比较看重朋友，特别是以前照顾过我的朋友，在希望表达我对他只有朋友之情但也想给他个台阶，回信如下：Of course I wish all my close friend love me as I do them, and upon reading I thought of your messages exactly to be in such a context, as I regard you as a very treasured friend. So there's no need for apologies for that context. You once said, as long as friends do not drift apart, friendship can last a long long time. I wish very much our friendship will grow and remain so, as it would mean a great deal to me. Sorry for having to cancel the lunch at the last minute, let's aim for something later. 他回信说 You are the best!! Thank you for your letter *biggest hugs ever* If you sent a recent pic then I would forgive you for cancelling =P =P =) Take care,
从他回信的态度，我突然觉得我的回信可能太给他台阶了, 不然他为什么那么高兴。没有回信。然后隔一天他又send了一个message: thanks again! so just curious, why won't you send pics anymore? I've gained 30 pounds since Feb. just want us to be on the same page. love, 我实在想不出我们为什么要on the same page. 回信说：oh it was so long ago. i think the two times i sent photos there were some associated stories to go with them beforehand, so it was more like a picto-description to continue the storyline. best wishes, (my full name).
他于深夜回了几个一行的short messages如下：
actually you only sent your disney pics, nothing else.
best wishes
sorry if you are confused ... about the pic again?
can i ask you a tough q?
至此我没理他，觉得他可能又不正常了或醉了。
今早，他给我发了一个message:
that was weak dude .... send a pic or back out ....
我很不高兴，这是什么garbage! 莫名其妙的在还和女友在一起时给我暧昧的message。我想直接就此ignore他，当没有过这个朋友。但是我们在一个领域工作，以后可能还有碰面的机会，所以不知道如此好不好。我也知道我可能在一些细节上处理的不妥，但是他的暧昧真的很单方面。请各位指教一下，该如何处理这个事情更加好一些。十分感谢！！！
一认识六年的白人朋友，我比他小近一轮。以前是同事，共事两年后各自有了同样领域的新工作，至今保持联系。我一直只将他看作好朋友，一点遐想都没有过。
当同事时，为一组且邻座，关系为友好，有公事上的交流，不过工作没有什么交错，一般就是职场心得上的交流，循序渐进为较好的朋友，平常闲聊时大概知道一些对方的家庭背景。从他聊起度假的细节时他有一同居四年的女友，感觉关系甜蜜。我没有男友但也从没有提及过我的私生活。基本上我们都没有询问各自的私生活。我想当时我们双方对对方都限位于朋友的态度。因为他回家会和女友提起工作细节，他的女友也知道我和他是朋友。
各自有新工作后，继续保持间断的email联系，就是相互交换工作性质和心得，节日和生日时的礼节性问候。由于我的岁数和对工作的热情有关，加之是对好朋友说话，我写文的风格较活泼。他常常回馈说看我的email "made his day"。有过两次互换vacation photos。见面接触大概就是每年夏天或圣诞时见面吃个饭，谈得也是各自的工作。只是有一次他问到：I am curious, since you never talk about your boyfriend, are you in a relationship? 我答没有过。他说 he is very surprised, because you are such a great girl. 我说, I am just very serious when it comes to relationships. 他说， I am sure there's a great guy waiting for you out there. 话题结束， 气氛挺自然的。 一年后我还就和当时相处的男士的一些问题上问过他的建议。期间他还是和女友在一起，貌似和谐。
问题始于去年，他开始在厌倦工作，经常take sick days off 和 take vacation。Email中常常complain他很stressed and tired. 我回信时尽量鼓励他. 打过一次电话，我觉得他好像开始有drinking problem. 后来一次会面时听了他诉几小时的苦。他说 you are my rock, 我笑笑。在好友中，我一般比较理智，所以朋友有工作上的问题都愿意找我谈和开解，觉得我很dependable, 所以习惯了。
去年下半年开始，他开始深夜给我短的email, 说miss我之类的，还问我do you ever think of me? 我很讶异，感觉他好像喝酒了，没理他。过一天后他email to say he's sorry. 我直接问他 is everything okay? 他答i think i just broke up with my girlfriend, 并说 we had a big argument and she threw things at me that almost hit me, and i asked her to leave the apartment. 他说他不能忍受暴力行为。我回信安慰他说，well it doesn't appear she's done that before, everyone has his/her own heat of the moment, talk things over。 我并没有回应他那些莫名其妙的短信息。之后我开始觉得我们的友谊好像变了，我不喜欢他，也不想介入他和她的mess。几个月没有任何联系。
年初他突然给了我一个email, 说thank you for your understanding. 然后说he's going on a vacation with girlfriend. 我感觉他恢复正常了，也为他和女友关系修复高兴。不过回邮只是淡淡的说，Have a great time. 又过了几个月，他email说 i just returned from a vacation with girlfriend(again), i had a really good time there. let's have dinner and catch up, i have a lot of changes in my life and have a lot to tell you. 我同意了。 因为他女友晚上要开车会友，定在中午。
见面前两天，他突然发了一堆short emails, 开始是confirm meeting time, 后来越来越活泼，要我穿sandals (我衣着一直很中性），并开始以love and honey来称呼我，并说 I think I love you。 我thought oh not again! 当时工作也忙，直接回避了那堆短message,说我很忙，要cancel meetup. 第二天他回信 No worries, love. 我继续沉默。过了几天，他写EMAIL， I'm sorry about my recent letters if they offended you. I'm really under a lot of stress right now. I'm sorry. 我比较看重朋友，特别是以前照顾过我的朋友，在希望表达我对他只有朋友之情但也想给他个台阶，回信如下：Of course I wish all my close friend love me as I do them, and upon reading I thought of your messages exactly to be in such a context, as I regard you as a very treasured friend. So there's no need for apologies for that context. You once said, as long as friends do not drift apart, friendship can last a long long time. I wish very much our friendship will grow and remain so, as it would mean a great deal to me. Sorry for having to cancel the lunch at the last minute, let's aim for something later. 他回信说 You are the best!! Thank you for your letter *biggest hugs ever* If you sent a recent pic then I would forgive you for cancelling =P =P =) Take care,
从他回信的态度，我突然觉得我的回信可能太给他台阶了, 不然他为什么那么高兴。没有回信。然后隔一天他又send了一个message: thanks again! so just curious, why won't you send pics anymore? I've gained 30 pounds since Feb. just want us to be on the same page. love, 我实在想不出我们为什么要on the same page. 回信说：oh it was so long ago. i think the two times i sent photos there were some associated stories to go with them beforehand, so it was more like a picto-description to continue the storyline. best wishes, (my full name).
他于深夜回了几个一行的short messages如下：
actually you only sent your disney pics, nothing else.
best wishes
sorry if you are confused ... about the pic again?
can i ask you a tough q?
至此我没理他，觉得他可能又不正常了或醉了。
今早，他给我发了一个message:
that was weak dude .... send a pic or back out ....
我很不高兴，这是什么garbage! 莫名其妙的在还和女友在一起时给我暧昧的message。我想直接就此ignore他，当没有过这个朋友。但是我们在一个领域工作，以后可能还有碰面的机会，所以不知道如此好不好。我也知道我可能在一些细节上处理的不妥，但是他的暧昧真的很单方面。请各位指教一下，该如何处理这个事情更加好一些。十分感谢！！！
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