I have tried everything!!! Nothing me and you can do

来源: TommyMom 于 2010-04-11 21:46:42 [] [博客] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 阅读数 : (810 bytes)
回答: To Windy2009 and the like 由 TommyMom 于 2010-04-11 21:10:43

I won't give you all the details.
I think I spoiled her and my mother in law by trying everyting.

I bought books on how to communicate for them, then similar books in Chinese for them, but they don't want to learn. They want to keep their superior status as "parents" in communicating with their children.
I have to let them know it is not acceptable now.

A lot(not all) of those generation are very self-centered, and focus on themselves. They don't know how to take care of other's, especially family member's emotional needs. Their spouse had to suffer the most, and their spouse is ill-charactered by their abuse.

Just try to focus on your life, it is more important then hers. You will need all the energy to take care of your kids and family.

Best Wishes

所有跟帖： 

• I agree, it's not easy. -Windy2009- ♀ 给 Windy2009 发送悄悄话 Windy2009 的博客首页 (622 bytes) () 04/11/2010 postreply 22:00:47

• "又总是又时不时提醒我他们给予了我什么": my solution -TommyMom- ♀ 给 TommyMom 发送悄悄话 TommyMom 的博客首页 (532 bytes) () 04/11/2010 postreply 22:07:40

• 如果你很爱你的母亲，就PLAY 2ND FIDLLE好了。 -Oona- ♀ 给 Oona 发送悄悄话 Oona 的博客首页 (266 bytes) () 04/11/2010 postreply 22:07:52

• "用心揣摩" How to focus on your life and your future will be better -TommyMom- ♀ 给 TommyMom 发送悄悄话 TommyMom 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 04/11/2010 postreply 22:11:32

• 当然前提是女儿愿意，才可以"用心揣摩"。不愿意则不要勉强。 -Oona- ♀ 给 Oona 发送悄悄话 Oona 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 04/11/2010 postreply 22:16:19

• You don't know what you don't know -TommyMom- ♀ 给 TommyMom 发送悄悄话 TommyMom 的博客首页 (137 bytes) () 04/11/2010 postreply 22:15:29

• 其实我妈妈可能不会比你们的妈妈容易，如果光看负面也是会搞死掉的。 -Oona- ♀ 给 Oona 发送悄悄话 Oona 的博客首页 (156 bytes) () 04/11/2010 postreply 22:20:41

• 觉得有些人是将贬斥抱怨家人作为一种表示亲爱的方式 -ttmum- ♀ 给 ttmum 发送悄悄话 (110 bytes) () 04/11/2010 postreply 22:38:02

• You did not even live with your mom -Tommymom- ♀ 给 Tommymom 发送悄悄话 Tommymom 的博客首页 (126 bytes) () 04/11/2010 postreply 22:45:27

• 我只想说，不要折磨自己，大家都差不多的，但要原谅，阿Q。 -Oona- ♀ 给 Oona 发送悄悄话 Oona 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 04/11/2010 postreply 22:50:21

• 而且，如果可以，自我反省一下其实也没什么大不了的。 -Oona- ♀ 给 Oona 发送悄悄话 Oona 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 04/11/2010 postreply 22:53:13

• ic, you are on the opposite of what Windy2009 have experienced -TommyMom- ♀ 给 TommyMom 发送悄悄话 TommyMom 的博客首页 (421 bytes) () 04/11/2010 postreply 23:02:44

• 我不想多说他们，没意思。野蛮的社会野蛮的人有什么好说的， -Oona- ♀ 给 Oona 发送悄悄话 Oona 的博客首页 (192 bytes) () 04/11/2010 postreply 23:10:00

• You are lucky that they have their own life and not trying to co -TommyMom- ♀ 给 TommyMom 发送悄悄话 TommyMom 的博客首页 (560 bytes) () 04/11/2010 postreply 23:15:55

• 其实你们这样的父母说不定有人羡慕的，他们整天盯着孩子， -Oona- ♀ 给 Oona 发送悄悄话 Oona 的博客首页 (178 bytes) () 04/11/2010 postreply 23:22:47

• 说实话,考古了一下,你妈妈做的这些事还没有太怎么样:) -MMXIAO- ♀ 给 MMXIAO 发送悄悄话 MMXIAO 的博客首页 (270 bytes) () 04/11/2010 postreply 22:18:05

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