You made the right choice

I think you made a right choice to stay in your marriage for your kid,I grew up with my mother while my parents chose to have a divorce... it was difficult. Only both parents can offer a shelter for their kids that nothing else can replace. I wish my parents stayed together even though they didn't get along. I undertand some people had traumas growing up in a family seeing parents fighting all the time, but they don't know what they are talking about when they say "I wish my parents ended their marriage..."

As for you, you've been deeply wounded it is very difficult for you to forgive your hu*****and and start over again with him, it's just human nature. I think you need to be healed first and it's not something you can do on your own. You should try to talk to a professional therapist, go to church, seek for help from GOD, you WILL be set free and your marriage will be saved. It has happened to many people and it will happen to you.Hanging there, you have paid a big price for your family and one more step you will reap the reward, don't give up easily.