非常尊重及佩服你。不过说点不同看法：

1) 没看出来长发先生和她是在‘抢’孩子。感觉他们是caught by surprise, 他们直觉这样对孩子们不见得是最好的安排，同时也对突如其来的complication有点束手无策。

２）Moving the kids away from their father was not a big decision the EX can make on her own uless he is a terrible father, which is not the case otherwise she wouldn't agree to 50/50 in the first place. The father deserved to be involved in the decision-making process, had his opinion heard. Notifying your spouse on the phone with a 72 hrs ultimatum was a bad form no matter how you see it

3) 怎么大家说来说去都是大人之间在衡量利弊，没有考虑孩子的意愿？上中学的孩子了肯定是不愿离开他熟悉的朋友和环境做个transplant. Why not sit down and ask the kids what they want? is it important for them to be w their friends? which school district is better? what about extra curriculum? school band? piano teacher? soccer team?

4)　当然没有法律规定这位妈妈不能去外地找工作，但是当初她做这个决定时，她应该考虑到risk and consequences，除非她是蓄谋已久就是想把孩子从ｅｘ身边夺走还要多拿ｃｈｉｌｄ　ｓｕｐｐｏｒｔ（I tend not to think people are nasty to begin with). 今天她在外地找到工作要让孩子转学，过两天要是那个工作没有ｗｏｒｋ　ｏｕｔ，或是她男朋友没有找到工作，她再带着孩子转吗？现在的工作市场又这么不稳定。我觉得这个妈妈真的没有把孩子的利益放在首位。

5）父母离婚对孩子来说本来就是一件很痛苦的事，专家说过对孩子而言最好的情形就是不要轻易改变他们生活的环境。这样需要父母都作出让步和牺牲。听起来妈妈那边的情形还不稳定，新工作，BF还要过去找工作，为什么不缓一阵子等听听孩子的意见再说呢？ 别忘了孩子见不到父亲会同样的难受，尤其是他们一直都是50/50的。

长发妹妹，马上找律师file motion吧，这样最起码可以赢得一点时间商量一个对孩子最有利的办法。 无论孩子最后是跟妈妈搬走还是留在爸爸身边，你和你先生的生活规律都会被打乱. Unfortunately that's part of the combined families :) Be strong and things will settle on its own.

所有跟帖： 

• ding! very well said -swm06- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/21/2009 postreply 14:52:27

• ding! I have the feeling that his EX intends to take advantage o -xingfujiaren- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/21/2009 postreply 15:03:45

• cannot agree with more. -jasondand- ♀ (81 bytes) () 09/21/2009 postreply 15:07:59

• 谢谢晕海JJ的理解和意见....或许以后我该叫你"飕妹"了. :) -longhair- ♀ (579 bytes) () 09/21/2009 postreply 19:22:51