The Penis Asks for a Raise
Date: 9 Dec 2005
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:
I do physical labour.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I don't get paid overtime.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the
arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request
for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management
team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often
seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative; you need to be pressured
and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of
your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations,
such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work before you
have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen
constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking
bags.
Sincerely, The Management
