最近有兄弟姐妹们在讨论有关日本人,正好最近我在读一本书The Japanese,是前美国驻日大使写的,有些年头了,但多少能多一些对日本男人女人和家庭模式的了解.
It was written by Edwin O. Reischauer, who was born and grew up in Japan, and was US Ambassador to Japan before.
The following are parts from the book:
The Japanese do not have the Western attitudes about the sinfulness of sexual relations. To them this has always seemed a natural phenomenon, like eating. Promiscuity is in itself no more of a problem than homosexuality.
Men, in their greater freedom, could develop a broader social and sexual life. All those who could afford it could frequent the amusement quarters of the larger towns and cities, where, in a seting of theaters and restaurants, men could be entertained by the sprightly conversation, and sexual attractions of professionally trained women. These women themselves ranged from simple prostitutes to famous courtesans who required careful courting before they were likely to enter into a sexual relationship. It is women of this latter type who came to be known in the 19th century as geisha and still exist in contemporary Japan.
No extra-family social life is considered necessary for married women. Meanwhile their hu*****ands develop a fuller social life with their work group, which may include a few young unmarried women. Very commonly a group of men from work will stop on their way home at one or more of the myriad bars that are a feature of all cities. Here the bar hostesses, the successors to the gaisha tradition, engage them in amusing conversation, skillfully tickle their male egos, and afford an atmosphere of sexual titillation, which can lead to more serious involvements and for some bar girls to a more prosperous and stable life as mistress or even a wife. The milieu may be different, but the spirite of the mordern Japanese bar is close to that of the amusment quarters of feudal times.
In modern times, it is generally accepted that women have more will power and psychological strength than men, and there can be no doubt that the modern Japanese family centers around and is dominated by the mother, not the father. In fact, the father, though the financial support, is otherwise likely to be pretty much of a cypher in family affairs. Family finances are run almost exclusively by the mother, with the father often on a sort of allowance provided by her. He is likely to be away from home almost all of the waking hours of his smaller childern. The excessive attachment to and dependence of the male child on the mother, is a major psychological problem. This is the amae syndrome we have already encountered. A hu*****and sometimes seems to be the wife's big grown-up child, requiring tender care like the other childern, or else he shows a need from special feminine attention and flattery from other women--as from geisha in earlier times or bar girls today.
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It was written by Edwin O. Reischauer, who was born and grew up in Japan, and was US Ambassador to Japan before.
The following are parts from the book:
The Japanese do not have the Western attitudes about the sinfulness of sexual relations. To them this has always seemed a natural phenomenon, like eating. Promiscuity is in itself no more of a problem than homosexuality.
Men, in their greater freedom, could develop a broader social and sexual life. All those who could afford it could frequent the amusement quarters of the larger towns and cities, where, in a seting of theaters and restaurants, men could be entertained by the sprightly conversation, and sexual attractions of professionally trained women. These women themselves ranged from simple prostitutes to famous courtesans who required careful courting before they were likely to enter into a sexual relationship. It is women of this latter type who came to be known in the 19th century as geisha and still exist in contemporary Japan.
No extra-family social life is considered necessary for married women. Meanwhile their hu*****ands develop a fuller social life with their work group, which may include a few young unmarried women. Very commonly a group of men from work will stop on their way home at one or more of the myriad bars that are a feature of all cities. Here the bar hostesses, the successors to the gaisha tradition, engage them in amusing conversation, skillfully tickle their male egos, and afford an atmosphere of sexual titillation, which can lead to more serious involvements and for some bar girls to a more prosperous and stable life as mistress or even a wife. The milieu may be different, but the spirite of the mordern Japanese bar is close to that of the amusment quarters of feudal times.
In modern times, it is generally accepted that women have more will power and psychological strength than men, and there can be no doubt that the modern Japanese family centers around and is dominated by the mother, not the father. In fact, the father, though the financial support, is otherwise likely to be pretty much of a cypher in family affairs. Family finances are run almost exclusively by the mother, with the father often on a sort of allowance provided by her. He is likely to be away from home almost all of the waking hours of his smaller childern. The excessive attachment to and dependence of the male child on the mother, is a major psychological problem. This is the amae syndrome we have already encountered. A hu*****and sometimes seems to be the wife's big grown-up child, requiring tender care like the other childern, or else he shows a need from special feminine attention and flattery from other women--as from geisha in earlier times or bar girls today.
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