俺的假想敌 - 给ArashiMM

话说俺和C有亲密关系两个月(俺认识他有九个月,正式约会四个月),就迎来了感恩节
. 俺没想过和他有共度节日的计划, 只是陪陪家人就行了. 他则临时决定去日本,
参加他过去同屋的婚礼. 俺 特别是听说了有关那个日本MM(她也参加这个婚礼)的八
卦后觉得极为不爽. 几经思考, 决定confront他. 他觉得我居然认为他和那个日本
MM有affair, 实在有够silly,声明除俺之外,没有约会其他人. 他的朋友中有男有女
, 但只是朋友. 俺哪里肯信. 看在他即将上路的份儿上, 俺就没有小题大作, 但俺
说得明白, 如果他不能够focus on me, 那俺建议take a break. 此后无话, 叫他自
己琢磨去吧... 一哭二闹三上吊的本事俺从没学会过, 就不要试了.

他走后, 一连三天没有音信. 俺就忙活着跟家里人吃大餐, 血拼, 和帅哥们打球,
吃饭, 看电影. 中间俺娃还生了一次病, 俺在家陪了她一天一夜,她一好,俺又出去
疯玩...第四天, 他来了短信, 说婚礼如何好玩, 东西好吃, 他如何的累. 俺决定请
俺的军师L出主意. 俺给L电话, L痛骂俺没见过世面, 沉不住气之后, 说, 回他短信
, 说俺愿意去接机. 俺不肯, 说这是奇耻大辱, 他出去吃喝玩乐, 俺凭啥去接他,
应该立刻分手, 俺太客气了,太considerate了才没那么做. L问, 俺和C是不是一直
都很开心, 出了他的这次出行. 俺说是. 她又问, 俺是不是那种只凭一次两次的事
件就可以盖棺论定的人, 俺说不是. 她接着又说,双方冷静了这几天, 可以再谈谈,
因为俺已经清楚地表达了俺的观点和底线, 此时谈谈会非常有效果, 然后下结论不
迟.


俺于是就回他,说玩得开心好啊,要不要俺去接机.他说当然当然. 昨儿晚上俺施施然
去接机. 不好意思, 还是E文快些哈:

When he saw me the first sight, he ran to me fast and hugged me tightly,
talking about his crazy schedule out there for the past few days. I was
influenced by him and encouraged him to continue those fun little stories
he experienced in Japan.
When we got in his home, he was busying unpacking, and asked me if I could
help him downloading all the pictures he took in Japan to his computer.
I said sure, if I could view everything. He looked at my eyes and said "of
course, I have nothing to hide from you". So I did it. There were about over
100 pictures, the sight viewing, the wedding, the bars, etc. I took detailed
look into the pictures, I saw that Japanese girl in maybe 5 or 6 pictures,
but she was not the center of the pictures. Sometimes she sit with another
guy next to her at the dinning table, sometimes she was with some other
people. He mostly was with the guys, or he was the one who took the pictures.
I didn't sniff anything for me to start the debate (maybe he has deleted
the suspicious pictures :))

He brought some Japanese desert and gave them to me as gifts. Then (I have
to skip this part :)) and then we hugged each other for a long time and
had a very casual
conversation almost on everything in the past few days (of course not my
concerns and suspicion :)). Then we were both hungry and went out for dinner
by walking - there is a mall close to his place. After that we went to Vons
to buy the food for him the next day (he took today off). We were holding
hands all the time when we were walking, even in Vons. It really looked
silly by the way.

We kissed bye around 9:45 and he looked at my eyes deeply and said:" I'll
talk to you later". At that moment, I felt that we were sort of... closer,
for the trust and openness we eventually showed to each other.

I am still not sure he could be the one that will be with me for a long
time yet, I will take more time to explore. Next Saturday will be his company'
s Christmas party and I will show up happily, to meet his friends and co-workers
I guess.

现在想来, 我confront他的那个短信很重要, 当时真的决定不行就拉倒,他虽然是自
由人,想约会谁就约会谁,但在我这里就行不通,找情人也要有底线的.

今天和L说起来, 她很诚挚地告诉我, 谈恋爱是一门学问, 除非对方很烂, 要多看,多
接触,多沟通, 才可以有发展. 生活不是非黑即白,这时候技巧很重要, 不可以感情
用事. 只有这样发展出来的关系, 才真实, 即使不成功, 双方的伤害都是不会太大
.

Arashi MM, 我能多少体会到你的心境. 你可以有技巧地和他摊牌, 冷静地告诉他你
的底线, 然后该干吗就干吗. 他要是真的在乎你, 一定会努力地让你相信他. 如果
他没啥反应, 那是你的福气, 别跟这种人耗你的青春了,你一定会找到一个让你踏实
的好男人的.

所有跟帖： 

• 哎，Ｌ很智慧阿．．． -坚果- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/27/2007 postreply 23:24:56

• 对, 要不是她, 俺就不会如此平静. -alazycatinsd- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/27/2007 postreply 23:28:17

• That is true, for guy or kid, you should let them -acme- ♀ (42 bytes) () 11/27/2007 postreply 23:29:01

• sweet -atthecross- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/28/2007 postreply 00:09:31

• 我的不是假想敌, anyway 很高兴你有Happy ending -Arashi- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/28/2007 postreply 00:17:16

• think carefully, you would know what to do next. Good luck! -everafter- ♀ (108 bytes) () 11/28/2007 postreply 01:12:50

• MM你好天真,这离happy ending还远得很.我仍然不确定 -alazycatinsd- ♀ (541 bytes) () 11/28/2007 postreply 08:05:04

• good. -Oona- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/28/2007 postreply 06:50:07

• Happy for you. Finally, he is a step forward to become your -gzlady- ♀ (145 bytes) () 11/28/2007 postreply 07:41:47

• 谢谢:)我之所以如此,是我坚持认为一个男人因为要和我在一起和我 -alazycatinsd- ♀ (162 bytes) () 11/28/2007 postreply 08:12:47

• 唉。你这日子也不容易。一会儿天上，一会儿地下的。我认为 -nopainogain- ♀ (283 bytes) () 11/28/2007 postreply 11:27:02

• 回复感情本来就是个累人的事儿,碰巧我喜欢剖析罢了. -alazycatinsd- ♀ (0 bytes) () 11/28/2007 postreply 11:53:46

• 也有不累的，可能你没碰上罢了。你的这种不太坦荡的性格决 -nopainogain- ♀ (86 bytes) () 11/28/2007 postreply 12:17:42