The translation of the brief analysis of the poem is really fine. That of the poem itself reads like an English poem, too. IMO, you might need to refine the diction and the syntax. You've, however, really got the feel and the hang of the two languages. Good job!
For your first line:
Soft golden winds blow in the fine,
I might rephrase it like this:
As golden winds were blowing soft and fine,
This way you will get an iambic pentameter in the line.
For your first line:
Soft golden winds blow in the fine,
I might rephrase it like this:
As golden winds were blowing soft and fine,
This way you will get an iambic pentameter in the line.
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