英语书籍：Listening Is An Act Of Love（四）

英语书籍：Listening Is An Act Of Love (ZT)

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Nonfiction: Listening Is An Act Of Love
A Celebration of American Life
from the StoryCorps Project
Author: Dave Isay, Editor
Publisher: The Penguin Press
a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
ISBN: 9781594201400
LISTENING (Part 4 of 5)
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SETH FLEISCHAUER, 25, interviews his grandfather WILLIAM JACOBS, 83
RECORDED IN NEW YORK CITY

"William Jacobs remembers a visit from his future mother-in-law
while he was recuperating from a car accident during World War II."

William Jacobs: A nurse came into my room and she said, "Lieutenant,
you have a visitor." And I said, "Who's that?" And she said, "A Mrs.
Gropper." Gropper was Claire's last name, so I thought she must have
misunderstood Miss for Mrs. So I said, "Is she an old lady or
young?" And she said, "Well, I guess I would call her old." And I
said, "Well, tell her to come in." And in comes Claire's mother.

She said, "Billy, I have to tell you some things. I heard Claire on
the telephone last night saying how happy she was, and she's talking
about how you're going to have babies and so on and so forth. I have
to tell you something." I said, "What is that, Mrs. Gropper?" And
she said, "Claire cannot have children." And she went on to give me
some details of how when Claire was five years old, she was in the
hospital and some doctor had erred rather severely. She never made
Claire aware of this, and she wanted me to know this, and wanted to
know if I was willing to marry her anyhow.

I said, "Yes, Mrs. Gropper, I am ready to marry her anyhow." And she
took a deep breath and she said, "Billy, I want to ask you something
else. Will you be willing to adopt children? Because I know Claire
would love to have children." And I said, "Yes, Mrs. Gropper, I
would be glad to adopt children, and I would do so." She was very
relieved, and she said, "I only have one other question, Billy. How
are we going to tell Claire?" And I said, "Mrs. Gropper, I will tell
her myself on our wedding night." And that's what happened.

Seth Fleischauer: Throughout my life you've been a source of
inspiration to me, and I think the biggest thing you did in my life
was the dedication I saw you give to Grandma in those last seven or
eight years that she had Alzheimer's. Seeing that example of true
love and true dedication, especially for someone like me, a child
of divorce, that's the biggest thing that you've brought to me in my
life.

William: Thank you, Seth. I found it absolutely painless taking care
of her, so I guess I did have true love for her. Never for a minute
did I think, "God, when is this going to he over?" I never, ever
thought that. In fact, I find that since she's died, I've kind of
been floundering and trying to figure out what to do with the rest
of my life. I find this period to be much more unsatisfactory than
all of those years of caring for her. I just didn't find it that
much of a burden at all.

Seth: I think that's what was so remarkable about it for me. Thank
you very much for doing this, Grandpa. This was really great and
unexpected. I know I'd heard these stories before, but in this
setting it was very special.

William: Well, it was very special for me, Seth. I just loved
doing it. And just looking at you and answering you, with your
eyes looking into mine and mine into yours, it's just great.

Seth: I love you, Grandpa.

William: Thank you, Seth. I love you, too.

July 15, 2005



* * * *

JOYCE KIM LEE, 35, interviews her mother, HEE-SOOK LEE, 66
RECORDED IN SANTA MONICA, CALIFORNIA

Joyce Kim Lee: My friends who have parents who are Korean
immigrants, they've never actually seen their parents hug or kiss or
show affection towards each other. So I think it's pretty unusual
for a first-generation Korean couple to be so affectionate. Can you
tell me where you learned this from?

Hee-Sook Lee: Yes, that is a very important story. When I started
going to church, I met an American missionary couple. They were in
their sixties at the time. (Of course, they are now both of them in
heaven.) They started an English Bible class at their house with
forty or fifty young college students. And as we sat there in the
living room, we were not only learning the Bible, but we were
observing their life together. When I see them, they always say,
"Honey, I love you" and "Honey, thank you." And then when the wife
bring some tea, he grab her arms and kiss her. And then when she
started washing dishes, the hu*****and was standing beside and drying.
Wow, they are so happy, always smiling.

When it comes to my family, my mother, she served her hu*****and, my
dad, like a king. I never heard Dad say, "Thank you" or "I love
you." Never heard that in all those years. So I decided, "When I get
married, I want to be a happy, sweet couple like missionary friend."

So, of course, when I come to the United States, I get married to
typical Korean hu*****and. I said, "Honey, I love you." And typical
man, just sitting in the living room and reading a newspaper, didn't
respond. So I said again, "I love you," and he said, "Okay." And I
wasn't satisfied with that answer. So I said, "I love you." And he
said, "Oh, me, too." I said, "Can't you say 'I love you, too'?" And
at first he said it was very hard. He's not used to expressing. So
the next day, "I love you." He said, "Same here." So I said, "I love
you," until he responded, "I love you, too." And later on it wasn't
difficult. He just said, "I love you, too." And then, hug, even kiss
on my cheek. A lot of Korean couples were amazed. "Wow, how
wonderful your marriage!" And so that was the start. I determined I
would have that kind of family: very sweet expressions of love,
appreciation, happy, happy family, which now we have. You approve,
right?

Joyce: Yes, I love it. Do you have any advice for young couples?

Hee-Sook: I practice three phrases to use a lot in your good,
happy marriage. First, express to each other: "I love you, honey."
The second phrase is "Thank you." A lot of times you just take for
granted--for example, Dad takes all the garbage out. It's his job,
but I always say, "Thank you, honey, for taking all the garbage
out!" Every little thing, express your gratitude. And I cook all the
time. He always say, "Thank you, honey, for your good cooking" and
"I really enjoyed your meal! It was delicious!" You know, that kind
of thing is very important. Appreciate each other. And the other
thing is saying sorry: "I'm very sorry." Sometimes men make a
mistake, and in men's pride they don't want to admit they made a
mistake. And a woman, they are sensitive to say, "I'm sorry." But we
practice a lot. "Honey, I'm sorry. It was my mistake. I
misunderstood." And then, "Okay."

Just say, "I'm sorry," and then you will overcome the crisis of the
hu*****and and wife fighting each other. When you say, "I'm sorry,"
that's the end of it.

January 21, 2006

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所有跟帖： 

• 英语书籍：Listening Is An Act Of Love（The End） -紫君- ♀ (5559 bytes) () 04/24/2009 postreply 13:09:43

• 回复：英语书籍：Listening Is An Act Of Love（The End） -任我为- ♂ (261 bytes) () 04/24/2009 postreply 18:33:46

• enjoy:) -戏雨飞鹰- ♀ (0 bytes) () 04/24/2009 postreply 19:42:10

• Greetings to 飞鹰! How is everything going? -任我为- ♂ (0 bytes) () 04/26/2009 postreply 06:49:48

• 我还好。你呢？整天游山玩水是吧？记住： -戏雨飞鹰- ♀ (22 bytes) () 04/26/2009 postreply 11:34:00

• 英语书籍：Listening Is An Act Of Love（三） -紫君- ♀ (6251 bytes) () 04/24/2009 postreply 13:11:08

• 英语书籍：Listening Is An Act Of Love（二） -紫君- ♀ (5664 bytes) () 04/24/2009 postreply 13:12:30

• what a great mom ! -billnet- ♂ (0 bytes) () 04/24/2009 postreply 22:17:52

• Yes, she sure is. -紫君- ♀ (0 bytes) () 04/25/2009 postreply 08:26:32

• 英语书籍：Listening Is An Act Of Love（一） -紫君- ♀ (6713 bytes) () 04/24/2009 postreply 13:21:18

• 回复：英语书籍：Listening Is An Act Of Love（一） -任我为- ♂ (537 bytes) () 04/24/2009 postreply 18:10:25

• 问候任我为，周末快乐。 -紫君- ♀ (500 bytes) () 04/25/2009 postreply 08:36:00

• "Today we shall begin celebrating the lives of the uncelebrated! -billnet- ♂ (57 bytes) () 04/24/2009 postreply 21:49:57

• Well-said. -紫君- ♀ (0 bytes) () 04/25/2009 postreply 08:27:22

• thanks. -戏雨飞鹰- ♀ (0 bytes) () 04/24/2009 postreply 19:43:20

• My pleasure. Have a nice weekend. -紫君- ♀ (0 bytes) () 04/25/2009 postreply 08:26:57