1.
Hu*****and: everytime I hit you, you never fight back. how do you manage your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet seat.............
Hu*****and: how does it help
Wife: I use your toothbrush!!!!
2.
Hu*****and always insisted on making love in the dark.
After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator.
She goes balistic, "You impotent bas*ard! How could you lie to me all these years?"
Hu*****and looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, "I'll explain the toy, you explain the kids....."
