让人笑掉下巴的庭审记录 (都是法庭上的真人说的真话)

开心一刻：让人笑掉下巴的庭审记录 (都是法庭上的真人说的真话)

These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters-who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Don't miss the last one.

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Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

***

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

***

Q: What was the first thing your hu*****and said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

***

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

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Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

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Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

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Q: To a lady,So the date of conception (her baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

***

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

***

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

***

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

***

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

***

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK?
A: ok
Q: What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

***

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

***

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere and asking me some nonesense questions!

所有跟帖： 

• Thank you very much !!! -star-night- ♂ (0 bytes) () 04/20/2009 postreply 07:06:55

• did u laugh, star? I want to get u laugh:). 2 more jokes here~~ -戏雨飞鹰- ♀ (566 bytes) () 04/20/2009 postreply 07:33:49

• It is hard to avoid my下巴 from dropping. -star-night- ♂ (0 bytes) () 04/20/2009 postreply 07:49:56

• But these two are terrible :-(. -star-night- ♂ (0 bytes) () 04/20/2009 postreply 08:03:32

• Don't be so scared. that wife isn't your LP :) -戏雨飞鹰- ♀ (0 bytes) () 04/20/2009 postreply 08:14:48

• love it! -任我为- ♂ (0 bytes) () 04/23/2009 postreply 08:20:55