This translation is much better, but you need to note

来源: rancho2008 2015-03-06 17:25:53 [] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 本文已被阅读: 次 (207 bytes)
the passive voice of "To be shredded and faded," which is not reflected by your translation of this line. This is important because there is a big transition after line 6 as I mentioned in my earlier post.

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Thank for the suggestion. I think that you are right. -马下人- 给 马下人 发送悄悄话 马下人 的博客首页 (54 bytes) () 03/07/2015 postreply 13:41:50

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