试译 “Do not go gentle into that good night” by Dylan Thomas

本帖于 2014-11-26 11:36:34 时间, 由普通用户 yuanxiang 编辑
Do not go gentle into that good night
Dylan Thomas, 1914 – 1953
 
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
 
汉译
 
白日结束时老人要燃烧,要发热,
不要温柔的走进那良夜永别:
要激烈,激烈的应战那光明熄灭。


智者的话没化成闪电分蘖,虽然
他们临终之时知道黑暗就是正确,
 但是不要温柔的走进那良夜永别。
 
善人,作最后一浪的告别,哭诉
细浪在碧湾中本可舞得多有光洁,
要激烈,激烈的应战那光明熄灭。


野叟,曾抓着飞逝的阳光放声唱,
太迟地知道,歌唱时曾为之悲伤,
不要温柔的走进那良夜永别。


正经人临终在让人盲目之中看到
盲人的眼睛能像流星燃烧、热烈,
要激烈,激烈的应战那光明熄灭。
 
你啊,我的父亲,在那高天悲咽,
我祷告,请用热泪诅咒并赐福我。
不要温柔的走进那良夜永别。
要激烈,激烈的应战那光明熄灭。
 
 
1.       因为看过这个电影,所以有过共鸣。因为看过这电影,所以在读了舒啸的译文之后就有我的即兴翻译。
 
2.       怎么读懂诗歌,英文有句俗话“Our eyes may sometimes cheat us, but our ears never fail us.” 就是说诗歌要朗诵,在朗诵的过程中,可以听出哪些地方用词造句有些不对,也可以听出整篇作品的情感,语气和声音,让作者和听众产生共鸣。这首诗的基调是“烈士暮年,壮怀激烈;”并且超越一步,就是死了之后也要活的轰轰烈烈,不然不会引起观众强烈的共鸣。
 
3.       可以看出,这首诗歌的力量还来自双刃修辞,即在正话反着说的同时反话正着说,而一般的修辞只有单边锋刃。

所有跟帖: 

谢沅湘即兴翻译Dylan Thomas的诗歌,译出了韵律感。 -斓婷- 给 斓婷 发送悄悄话 斓婷 的博客首页 (2432 bytes) () 11/26/2014 postreply 17:02:59

也祝你节日愉快! -yuanxiang- 给 yuanxiang 发送悄悄话 yuanxiang 的博客首页 (205 bytes) () 11/26/2014 postreply 20:11:12

Thanks. Happy Thanksgiving. -斓婷- 给 斓婷 发送悄悄话 斓婷 的博客首页 (186 bytes) () 11/26/2014 postreply 20:26:35

谢谢yuanxiang 分享好诗好译,感恩节快乐! -南山松- 给 南山松 发送悄悄话 南山松 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 11/27/2014 postreply 19:47:46

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