To the Slow Slow Tune by LI Qingzhao [Song]
Look look seek seek, lone lone void void, rue rue woe woe grief grief
寻寻觅觅,冷冷清清,凄凄惨惨戚戚
Though turning warm, cold ling'rs, rest hardest be
乍暖还寒时候,最难将息
Two to three cups of wine, how, could fend (night) wind (so) chilly?.
三杯两盏淡酒,怎敌他、晚来风急?
(A) goose passes, saddening, (an) old acquaintance to me
雁过也,正伤心,却是旧时相识
The Yellow Flow'rs in heaps, I so languished, now who else would pick thee?
满地黄花堆积, 憔悴损,如今有谁堪摘?
(Alone) by window, how I'd bear such grief till night?
守著窗儿, 独自怎生得黑?
Wutong a drizzle stand, till dusk, drop drop drip drip
梧桐更兼细雨,到黄昏, 点点滴滴
This temper, how could "woe" (delineate so) truly !
这次第,怎一个、愁字了得!
译文和原文用同一个词曲可唱,是这个翻译的目标。同时也尽量兼顾韵和节奏。Yellow Flowers are Chrysanthemum; Wutong 梧桐 is Indus。觉得 chilly 比 gusty 更合上下文。必要的话, 省去 括号内字以便唱得顺。 一样道理,”delineate so truly” 可用”describe truly” 。希望得到指教继续改进。
英译[声声慢]李清照[宋]
所有跟帖:
• 俺也凑兴译一个,抛砖落玉, 一概笑纳 :) -淘金客- ♂ (0 bytes) () 04/25/2013 postreply 06:52:01
• 词是要唱的。为了能顺原曲唱,只好做点牺牲。在英文诗里语法的牺牲也偶尔见到。 -淘金客- ♂ (0 bytes) () 04/25/2013 postreply 16:54:22
• 译的生动流畅。侃侃的演绎颇有韵味,古典配上流行歌曲的风格。 -斓婷- ♀ (0 bytes) () 04/25/2013 postreply 17:38:35
• 译文按原曲唱得出才算成功。多谢临赏。 -淘金客- ♂ (0 bytes) () 04/26/2013 postreply 18:04:46