我还是觉得那个who跟在performance之后不好。

来源: 非文学青年 于 2011-07-24 22:01:03 [] [博客] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 阅读数 : (661 bytes)

现在觉得弄成一句也行，你看呢？

Delivering an Oscar-caliber performance, Angelina Jolie totally disappeared into her role as a heart-broken but strong-willed mom， who never gave up her hope in rescuing her kidnapped son and had the guts to take on the whole corrupted LAPD to finally get the truth surfaced.

Although her son got kidnapped好像感觉逻辑上没有转折，这里的although有点没必要。

所有跟帖： 

• 短句好，长的头晕 -selfselfself- ♂ 给 selfselfself 发送悄悄话 selfselfself 的博客首页 (347 bytes) () 07/24/2011 postreply 22:44:40

• Good rewriting~ -lilac09- ♀ 给 lilac09 发送悄悄话 lilac09 的博客首页 (579 bytes) () 07/25/2011 postreply 07:19:43

• I think yours conveys what I am trying to express. Much better t -lilac09- ♀ 给 lilac09 发送悄悄话 lilac09 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 07/25/2011 postreply 07:13:29

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