Body and Soul Mate 我的标准
我要找的是一个deep bonding long term body and soul mate (leading to marriage). 我的标准是三个方面：1）physical look and chemistry - 他的身体和长相，我要有jump onto his bone的激情；2）Emotionally healthy and wanting to commit to a long bonding relationship, 相同的价值观； 3）个人能力，好习惯，较高的intellectual curiosity.
前面两个标准 1）和2）要达到95分。 3）达到80分。
2016年1月到2017年3月数字
1- 在四个网站上面一共约有2400人view我。 其中45%的人表达了对我的兴趣和喜欢。
2- 在表达了对我的兴趣和喜欢的人中，我自己看是否喜欢（主要就是外貌和在网站上互相TEXT的感觉）。我想我大概有网站上TEXT的约有80到100人左右。
3- 网站上Text后，男生约我见面的，我也觉得想见的一共见了21位。 只有一位男生第一次见我后，没有再约我。 其他二十位男生第一次见完，都来约我第二次，说本人比照片还好看，还风趣，等等）。
4- 我的做法是第一次见面没有1）的strong chemistry, 就不见第二次了。我一共和四位男生共度或长或短的一段美好人生活。
这15个月我喜欢的4位男生
1- J (48, 5’10 construction engineer)
2016年3月到9月，我们密集地约会。我在第三个约会时就fell in love with him. After six months of real happiness, deep appreciation and admiration of some of his qualities, a lot of thinking and self studying, disappointments and hoping, I couldn’t get his commitment. We decided not to be exclusive lover. From mid Sept 2016 to Feb 2017, we were no longer lovers (did not have intimacy) but still back and forth. On Feb 21, 2017 I texted and called him saying Happy Birthday. He knew well that I need to move out of his life to begin my new life. Feb 21 was day to say final goodbye and I blocked his cell phone, Facebook, Messenger and email address. Since then, J and I have never contacted each.
I have learned a lot from the experience with J. I have seen a really talented and fine person. J fits my #1 and #3 standards really well - I was actually obsessed by him. For #2: J’s emotion is bruised and he has narcissistic traits. His not being able to commit made our relationship unhealthy and hurting me.
2- J (44, 6’2 high tech marketing)
2016年9月中旬和J stop being exclusive lover后上网，Mid Oct. zoosk上认识了 J （44, 6’2). 1) Physical chemistry we hit very well. From Mid Oct to end Nov, we saw each other twice a week. Had a lot of good time. However 2) Emotionally J was not ready (his ex-wife cheated him a year and half ago) and he couldn’t really love yet. 3) Intellectually he feels i am way over and often asked me what if you get bored.
I traveled last half of Dec. to first Half Jan. We hadn’t seen each other since first week of Dec. We texted each other Happy New Year. I didn’t have strong connection and don’t miss him.
3-M (49, 5’10 high tech engine firm co-owner)
2016年9月中旬和J stop being exclusive lover后上网，late Oct. zoosk上认识了 M （49, 5’10). 1) Physically I don’t feel strong attraction to him; 2) Emotionally we connected very well; 3) Intellectually we connected very well. Oct. to Nov.2016 I dated both J (44, 6’2) and M (49, 5’10). During my Dec out of country travel, M asked me to send him updates during travel through wechat. I did and regardless time difference, he replied my wechats always within 5 to 20 minutes. From Dec. to Jan, we exchanged about 500 texts with real content.
So after I came back from trip in Jan., I felt the desire to date M more seriously. However after a few dates in Jan., I found that M doesn’t have an active lifestyle I have. (hard to explain but I do know clearly). We are candidate toward each other. M is very mature and we become friends.
4-T (42, 6’2 manufacturing materials manager)
2016年9月中旬和J stop being exclusive lover后上网, late Nov. match上认识了T （42，6‘2）. Exchanged a few texts through online app, T knew that I will travel so he said that we will connect after I come back from travel. Therefore during whole Dec to mid Jan., we did not contact each other.
In mid Jan, T texted me, got my number and called me. After a few days call, we met first time on Feb. 1. Since then he texted every morning and called every evening. He caught a cold and developed to
Pneumonia. So our 2nd date was Feb. 23. After 2nd date, T asked me to be exclusive, saying he loves and wants to have baby with me (we talked before we both wanting have kid). I felt a little rushing but sincerely wanting to agree. So we have been exclusively dated since then.
T and I have very strong physical chemistry so #1 checked. T is confident, emotionally healthy and mature. He has two long relationships 9 years and 5 years each. He is wholehearted when in love, so number 2 checked. #3 I have hesitation because intellectually T is a little bit simpler than I desire. When we are together, I do 85% of talking. But I love his #1 and 2.
It’s getting late. Let me share this much. There are lots of going ons. Real emotions matter most to me. Life is wonderful. We are growing, we are loving, we get hurt and healed!
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