You two have had such good memories. And you obviously cherished the memories.
I always try to forget my bad memories but also want to write down the good ones, like you do. I thought about writing some of my bad stories, so they can serve as a warning to JMs here. But I don't want to remember the painful ones. If you write the story in such details, that means you have held on to this story really tight.
So I think you are still confused about your decision to leave him.
If I were you, I would talk to him about what had happened.
I don't mean to be rude. Sorry if I offended you.