Sorry, I didn't see your reply yesterday. First I want to clarify: The incidence of "running out of the house crying" happened after dinner time. I went for a run+walk and thought it over. By the time I came back about 2 hours later, the kids and my hu*****and had gone to sleep. So the three of them slept together that night. I don't consider it as "离家出走“， let alone "家暴“ or ”遗弃儿童“。You said you were joking. I will take it as a joke.
Second, I don't know what misleads you to think "你主动挑起了与母亲的疏远，并且把母女关系紧张的原因归结于你母亲“. What I meant when I said, my mom's high hopes would drive me away from her is that, if I hadn't got the pressure from my mom, I probably would have wallowed in the loss of my father, haven't done well academically, have stayed in my hometown taking care of my mom like most of my elementary school and middle school classmates. It was a physical distance I was referring to, not alienation.
I didn't think I blamed my mom for our "tense" mother-daughter relationship. I did mention I might have resented her when she lived with us. That's a long story I don't want to explain. But I wanted to say is, my mom and I have a big generatation gap. She was 39 years old when she gave birth to me. We were not best friends, but we were close before I went to colleague. (当你和母亲相依为命的时候，how can you not be close with her?) I showed her the first "love letter" I received in high school and she was concerned, but trusted me that I could handle it well.
Actually after I posted my "哭“ part, my hu*****and read it and said, I know you are writing this for your own reason. It is obviously a story that needs to come out. Just be careful that people might get judgemental. I didn't agree with him then. I didn't know how people can be judgemental about this. Now I see his point. People don't know me, don't know what other things have happened in my life, don't know what the real dynamics were like in my marriage life, therefore, they think they know better, they know a way to "fix" you.
I was seaking closure by writing it and wasn't expecting your very mistaken “话疗”. If you insist on me and my family as victims of my father's death, I don't know what I do can change your opinion. Maybe you could say I am in denial. But as I mentioned in the essays, that scene is like a dark side of my life. I go there when something triggers it. It hasn't happened for a long time but recently, for reasons I have mentioned, it came back to me. Do you expose every side of yourself in public so that people can see a 完整真实的你？I seriously doubt it.
I don't know where your theories come from or where you are from. I see your intention to help, as well as an intention to use scary words to show off or to intimidate. There has been some preaching I heard in your first reply, but I considered it well-meant. But this "话疗“ part is showing more malicious attacks on my past, my married life and my relationship with my kids. Although I do agree with you at the end, what I should try to do is to get out of that shadow, that dark side of me, your way of persuading is a failed effort.
A good shrink would be good at listening and not jump into conclusions as fast as you have. But again, I wasn't seeking a shrink's help here in the forum. I got my writing done and gained some enlightment from my reflections. My friends here know me better than before, and I hope it serves a closure for me, so I think we can stop here. Please don't reply to this to do any more damage.
Second, I don't know what misleads you to think "你主动挑起了与母亲的疏远，并且把母女关系紧张的原因归结于你母亲“. What I meant when I said, my mom's high hopes would drive me away from her is that, if I hadn't got the pressure from my mom, I probably would have wallowed in the loss of my father, haven't done well academically, have stayed in my hometown taking care of my mom like most of my elementary school and middle school classmates. It was a physical distance I was referring to, not alienation.
I didn't think I blamed my mom for our "tense" mother-daughter relationship. I did mention I might have resented her when she lived with us. That's a long story I don't want to explain. But I wanted to say is, my mom and I have a big generatation gap. She was 39 years old when she gave birth to me. We were not best friends, but we were close before I went to colleague. (当你和母亲相依为命的时候，how can you not be close with her?) I showed her the first "love letter" I received in high school and she was concerned, but trusted me that I could handle it well.
Actually after I posted my "哭“ part, my hu*****and read it and said, I know you are writing this for your own reason. It is obviously a story that needs to come out. Just be careful that people might get judgemental. I didn't agree with him then. I didn't know how people can be judgemental about this. Now I see his point. People don't know me, don't know what other things have happened in my life, don't know what the real dynamics were like in my marriage life, therefore, they think they know better, they know a way to "fix" you.
I was seaking closure by writing it and wasn't expecting your very mistaken “话疗”. If you insist on me and my family as victims of my father's death, I don't know what I do can change your opinion. Maybe you could say I am in denial. But as I mentioned in the essays, that scene is like a dark side of my life. I go there when something triggers it. It hasn't happened for a long time but recently, for reasons I have mentioned, it came back to me. Do you expose every side of yourself in public so that people can see a 完整真实的你？I seriously doubt it.
I don't know where your theories come from or where you are from. I see your intention to help, as well as an intention to use scary words to show off or to intimidate. There has been some preaching I heard in your first reply, but I considered it well-meant. But this "话疗“ part is showing more malicious attacks on my past, my married life and my relationship with my kids. Although I do agree with you at the end, what I should try to do is to get out of that shadow, that dark side of me, your way of persuading is a failed effort.
A good shrink would be good at listening and not jump into conclusions as fast as you have. But again, I wasn't seeking a shrink's help here in the forum. I got my writing done and gained some enlightment from my reflections. My friends here know me better than before, and I hope it serves a closure for me, so I think we can stop here. Please don't reply to this to do any more damage.
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