毋庸置疑，语言是人类所创造出的最复杂的“软件”！没有了语言，“人类”恐怕就不复存在了。人类语言是直立行走的人类智慧之源；同时，语言也是爱与恨、理解和误解、和谐与冲突的根源。
当“学习外语”成为学生考试、升学、就业的“必修课”时，尽管眼时下“学外语”教材琳琅满目，数以万计，但很多学生仍是硬着头皮去学：背单词、背句式、背课文等等，死记硬背地实行着“脑细胞自杀”来提高成绩。
学习外语，英语或美语，如果忽视了语言现象中幽默的因素就失去了“品味”目标语言中的一道极其可贵的“配料”的机会。正如“大山”学习中国传统相声一样，他的中国话才显得炉火纯青、雅俗共赏。
日常美语对话中，我们能听到很多“俗”的幽默。噢，你还记得过去很多二流儿肉麻电影里，当男女搞对象时，女的会常常说“反话”？比如，“瞧你这傻样儿！”“你真坏！”“讨厌！”“去你的！”“倒霉蛋儿！”“老不死的！”等等等等。这种女人讲的反话，嗲气十足，不仅在中文里属于调情骂俏儿，在英文和美语里也同样存在。
如果华人帅哥儿在与欧美女孩子拍拖时，甚至恋爱同居后，“反话”往往会时常出现在男女调情的片段中。当然，关系很铁的朋友、同事之间，这样的反话也会被用上。
"Maybe" = No
"I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry
"We need" = I want
"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now
"Sure... go ahead" = I don'twant you to
"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
"We need to talk" = I need to complain
"You're certainly attentive tonight" = Is sex all you ever think about?
"Be romantic, turn out the lights"= I have flabby thighs
"This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house
"I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...
"I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep
"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive
"How much do you love me?" =I did something today you're really not going to like
"I'll be ready in a minute" = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
"Is my butt fat?" = Lie to me
"You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me
"Are you listening to me!?" = [Too late, you're dead]
"Do what you want." = You'll pay for this later
以上例子为“反面教材”，不宜随时随地使用。尤其是学外语的女士们，在使用这些反语时必须具备天时地利人和的条件，否则会事半功倍，弄不好会造成鸡飞蛋打的严重后果。
帅哥儿们在实践中也要根据实际情况来判断“反语”的级别与暗示，重要的是要反应机敏，回答迅速，否则会被骂白痴或心不在焉。
::::::作舟 撰评
请阅读更多我的博客文章>>>
