A wealthy old lady who lived near Dr. Swift used to send him presents occasionally by her servant. Dr. Swift took her presents but never gave the boy anything for his trouble. One day as Swift was busy with his writing, the boy rushed into his room, knocked some books out of their place, threw his parcel on the desk and said, “My mistress has sent you two of her rabbits.”
Swift turned round and said, “My boy, that is not the way to deliver your parcel. Now, you sit in my chair, watch my way of doing it and learn your lesson. ”
The boy sat down. Swift went out, knocked on his door and waited. The boy said, “Come in.” The doctor entered, walked to his desk and said, “If you please sir, my mistress sends her kind regards and hopes you will accept these rabbits which her son shot this morning in her fields.”
The boy answered, “Thank you, my boy, give your mistress and her son my thanks for their kindness and here is two shillings for yourself.”
The doctor laughed, and after that, Swift never forgot to give the boy his tip.
A person with six children or a person with $6 million, who is more satisfied? Why?
The person with six children of course. Because the one with $6 million wants more.
Little boy: Daddy, I want to get married.
Father jokingly said: Oh! Who did you have in mind?
Little boy: Grandma.
Father: Wait a minute, you did not think I'd let you marry my mother, did you?
Little boy: Why not? You married mine.
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?
Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
In class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, "What kind of bird do you like best, Jack?"
Jack thought a moment, then answered, "Fried chicken, sir."
6 新西兰的气候/The Climate of New Zealand
Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?
Matthew: Very Cold, sir.
Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!