1 看法不同
After my husband, John, and I moved to Michigan from Nebraska, our new friends, proud of their beautiful tree lined roads, teased us about the Mid-west's dull, flat, treeless land. When my parents, Nebraska farmers, visited us, I asked them about their trip.
"What a boring drive, "my father replied. "Once you get to Michigan, there's nothing to see but trees."
2 不必再看眼科医生了
It had been many years since my last eye exam,and my wife was pestering me to make an appointment. The more she nagged, the more I procrastinated. Finally, she made an appointment for me.
The day before I was to see the doctor, I was in an affectionate mood. After kissing and hugging her, I told her she really looked good to me.
"That does it,” she said. “I'm canceling your appointment."
3 存有二心
The local weatherman was wrong in his forecasts so often that he was embarrassed and applied for a transfer, stating as his reason: "The climate here doesn't agree with me."
4 穿错了
I wanted to look especially nice when I walked my son to his first day of kindergarten, so I took the liberty of borrowing an outfit from my younger, more fashionable sister, who was staying with us at the time. We had agreed not to borrow from one another without asking, but she was asleep, so I slipped some shorts and a shirt out of her drawer silently, planning to put them back before she woke up.
To my surprise, she was awake when I got back, but she didn't mention the clothes. We chatted about Jason's introduction to kindergarten. Finally, she smiled and asked coolly, "And how did Jason's teacher like my pajamas?"
5 借口
A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. "There is no way they can catch a Mercedes,” he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100, 110 and finally 120 with the lights still behind him.
"What in hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "I’ve had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don’t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before you can go.”
“Last week my wife ran off with a cop,” The man said "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!”
"Have a nice night,” said the officer.
6 弄巧成拙
One evening my husband's golfing buddy drove his secretary home after she had imbibed a little too much at an office reception. Although this was an innocent gesture, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who tended to get jealous easily.
Later that night my husband's friend and his wife were driving to a restaurant. Suddenly he looked down and spotted a high-heel shoe half hidden under the passenger seat. Not wanting to be conspicuous, he waited until his wife was looking out of her window he scooped up the shoe and tossed it out of the car. With a sigh of relief, he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. That's when he noticed his wife squirming around in her seat. "Honey," she asked, "Have you seen my other shoe?"
