1 也许这个名字管用 Maybe this Name Works
During the college speech course I taught, I spoke about a Chinese student who, after moving to the United States, decided she wanted an English name to honor her new home. "She chose the name Patience," I told the class, "because she wanted to be reminded to be patient. Every time someone called her name, the message was reinforced." I asked the students what names they would select for themselves. After considering the question, one young man raised his hand and said, "Rich."
2 继续开我的卡车 Keep Driving My Truck
With several years of Army National Guard duty under his belt, my roommate applied for officer training. But his lifelong dreams were dashed after he failed the eye exam.
"That's too bad," I sympathized. "Does that mean you now have to quit the Guard entirely?"
"No, I get to keep my old job," he said. "Driving trucks."
3 我输了 I Lost
It was at a five o’clock tea. A young man came to the hostess to apologize for his lateness．
“So good of you to come, Mr. Jones, and where is your brother？”
“You see we're very busy in the office and only one of us could comeso we tossed up for it.”
“How nice! And so original， too！ And you won？”
“No,” said the young man absently, “I lost.”
4 我还赢着呢 I'm still winning
There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a counter by the machine. Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change. She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mountain Dew. As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man who had been waiting patiently for several minutes now spoke up. "Excuse me Ms. but are you done yet?" She looked at him and indignantly replied: "Well Duhhh! I'm still winning."
5 我可以为任何一方辩护 I'll Take either Side
A lawyer was walking down the street and saw an auto accident. He rushed over, started handing out business cards, and said, "I saw the whole thing. I'll take either side."
6 额外的分数 Extra Points
After some years of medical practice, a gynecologist decided it is time for a career change, and so enrolled in a course on auto mechanics. The final exam, which was worth 200 points, consisted of disassembling and reassembling an engine. The doctor passed the test with a score of 300. Puzzled by this, the doctor asked the instructor for an explanation. The instructor said, "Well, you're quite an outstanding student. I gave you 100 points for correctly disassembling the engine and 100 points for correctly reassembling it, and I gave you an extra 100 points for doing it all through the exhaust pipe."
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