1 主啊为什么是我 Why me lord
A man was wandering around in a field, thinking about how good his wife had been to him and how fortunate he was to have her, He asked God, “Why did you make her so kind hearted?"
The Lord responded, “So you could love her, my son."
"Why did you make her so good looking?"
"So you could love her, my son.”
"Why did you make her such a good cook?"
"So you could love her, my son."
The man thought about this.
Then he said," I don't mean to seem ungrateful or anything, but, why did you make her so stupid? "
"So she could love you, my son."
2 守护天使 Guardian angle
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: “Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will over you and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
"Where are you?” the man asked, “Who are you? "
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh yeah?" the man asked. “And where the hell were you when I got married?"
3 爬楼梯 Climbing the Stairs
Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75story sky-scraper. After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights stairs to get to their room. Bill said to Jim and Scott, Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I will tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing, at the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. "I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!"
4 为什么 Why
A cemetery grounds keeper was going about his rounds when he saw a man lying on a grave, sobbing loudly and pounding his fits on the ground, "Why did you have to die?Oh,why?Why?Why?"he lamented. "A loved one's passing is a terrible lose.” The grounds keeper offered in consolation, "but someday, the pain will pass.”
"Love one?" the weeping man said, looking up.
"I didn't even know the guy."
"Then why all the tears?”
"He was my wife's first husband!"
5 生气的熊妈妈 Angry Mummy Bear
Baby bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! "Who's been eating my porridge? “He squeaks.
Daddy bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair, He looks into his big bowl .It is also empty! "Who is been eating my porridge? “ He roars.
Mummy bear puts her head though the serving hatch from the kitchen and scream. "For God's sake, how many time do we have to go through this? I haven't made the porridge yet!"
6 谁的儿子最伟大 Whose Son Is the Greatest
The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. "My son is a monsignor," said the first proud woman. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Monsignor'."
The second mother went on, "My son is a bishop. When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Excellency'."
"My son is a cardinal." continued the next one. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Eminence'.
"The fourth mother thought for a moment. "My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300 pounds, "she said, "When he enters a room, people say, 'Oh, my God'!"
(from internet)
