1 请假 To Ask For Leave
"So you want another day off,” snorted the teacher to his student，Tom.“I am anxious to hear what excuse you have this time. You have been off for your grandfather's funeral four times already.”
Tom replied，"Today my grandma is getting married again.”
2 我希望您的面包病好了 I hope your bread gets better
I was making rolls and, needing a warm place for the dough to rise, put the bowl in a heating pad. Then I left the house on an errand. When I came back, I found this note from my son: "Dear Mom, I hope your bread gets better."
3 大五个月 Five Months Older
The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
But John's brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy's family name, so when he saw John's papers, he was surprised.
"How old are you?" he said.
"Eighteen, sir," said John.
"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"
"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."
4 数学教授 A Math Professor
A math professor has just been knocked down by a speeding car. A police officer rushed over and asked“Were you able to get the license number of the vehicle that hit you, sir?”
The professor replied，"Well, not exactly，but I do recall that if the number was multiplied by itself, then divided by three, the square root of the answer would turn out to be the original number with the integers reversed.”
5 等明年再说 Wait till Next Year
The woman was reading the newspaper as she and her husband were eating breakfast. "Did you hear about this, dear?" she asked. "It seems a man traded his wife for season tickets to the Spurs. You wouldn't do a thing like that, would you, sweetheart?" "No way," answered the husband. "The season's almost half over."
6 渴望爱情 Thirstin' for Love
Thurston was in the habit of visiting his girl-friend's apartment from time to time, but always managed to get home at a decent hour with a plausible excuse. But this time, both he and his girlfriend had fallen asleep, and it was 2:00 a. m before Thurston came to. Thinking fast, he immediately called home, and when his wife answered, panted, "Don't pay the ransom! I've escaped!"
(from Internet)
