1 谁是对的 Who is right
After the couple’s quarreling, the husband shouted: “You should remember that no matter what time it is, what the man is thinking of is right, and his judgment is correct, but you women are always do the opposite.”
The wife answered, “Yes, that you chose me to be your wife is right, but my choosing you as my husband is a big mistake!”
2 成为大人物的方法 A way to become an important person
The middle aged couple already had eight children, and Lula May was pregnant with her ninth. Finally she convinced her husband to get a vasectomy.
On the morning of the operation, she was surprised to see her husband putting on a tuxedo and getting into a limousine for the short ride to the hospital.
"Say, honey, what's all this about?" asked Lula May.
"Baby, if you gonna be important, you gotta look important．"
3 为爱而亡 Die for Love
If you refuse to marry me, he swore, I shall die.
She refused him.
Sixty years later, he died.
4 欠揍的理发师 The barber needs to be spanked
Being rather bald I have long been used to comforting myself on a visit to the hairdresser with the opening gambit “Grass doesn’t grow on a busy street.”
However I was not prepared for the response of one barber, “We always say there’s no sense in putting a roof on an empty barn.”
5 不想见到你 Don’t want to see you again
Judge: I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again.
Defendant: Your Honor, that’s what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn’t listen.
6 士兵的高招 A Soldier's Brilliant Idea
Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr. Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.
(from Internet)
