周末一笑：万圣节的笑话

来源: 南山松于 2014-10-31 16:30:07 [档案] [博客] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 本文已被阅读：次 (8008 bytes)

1 为抄近路走墓地The Cemetery Shortcut

Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs。

Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows。

Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones。

"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"

"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

2 万圣节晚会Halloween Party

We're having a Halloween party at school. I'm dressed up like Dracula. Man, I look cool! I made my hair black and I cut off my bangs. I'm wearing a cape and some fake plastic fangs. I put on some makeup to paint my face white, like creatures that only come out in the night. My fingernails, too, are all pointed and red. There's no doubt I look like the evil undead. My mom drops me off and I run into school, And suddenly feel like the world's biggest fool. The other kids stare like I'm some kind of freak. The Halloween party is not till next week.

3 万圣节服装Halloween Costume

A guy goes into a costume shop. He says, "I'm going to a Halloween party, and I want to go as Adam."

The girl brings out a fig leaf.

But he says, "Not big enough!"

So she brings out a bigger one.

"Still not big enough!"

So she brings out a HUGE fig leaf.

"Still not big enough!" he proudly tells her.

So she says, "Listen, Ace, why don't you just throw it over your shoulder and go as a gasoline pump?"

4 还没收拾的床unmade bed

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"

The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"

5 有点晚了A little late

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"

6 魔鬼 The Devil

A woman, whose husband often came home drunk, decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home. When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork. "Who are you?" he asked. "I'm the Devil!" she responded. "Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"

（from Internet)