1 Digital Life 数码砚听
The tree is known by its fruit.
The air hostess was in the small kitchen at the back of the airplane preparing the trays for lunch when a little old lady came and spoke to her.
A: Could you please tell me where the ladies' lavatory is in this plane?
B: Yes, madam. It is right at the other end of the airplane at the front.
(The little old lady went too far. She walked all the way to the front of the airplane, opened the door in front of her, and the captain of the airplane and the other officers. They were all busy at their work and did not see her. She went out again, shut the door and returned to the air hostess.
A: Oh, didn't you find it, madam?
B: Yes, I did. But there four men in the ladies' lavatory watching television.
2 Hi-technology 高新科技
The devil knows many things because he is old.
Sam is at the airport waiting for his flight which leaves at 6:00. He has forgotten wear his watch，so he looks for someone to ask the time. He spots one man walking past carrying 2 suitcases and sporting a fabulous hi-tech watch，so he approaches that man.
A: Excuse me, could you tell me what the time is by your watch？
B: Sure, which country?
A: How many countries have you got?
B: All the countries in the world.
A: Wow! That's a pretty cool watch you've got there.
B: That's nothing. This watch also has a GPS facility. It can even send and receive fax and e-mail. Besides it can receive NTSC television channels and display them on its miniature active color pixel！LCI screen!
A: Boy, that's incredible. I wish I had a watch like that one. You wouldn't consider selling it by any chance?
B: Well，actually the novelty has worn off by now，so for $ 900，if you want it，it's yours!
(Dam can hardly whip out his checkbook fast enough and hands over a check for $900. The seller takes the watch and gives it to him.
B: Congratulations，here is your new hi-tech watch! (handing the 2 suitcases over as well) And here are the batteries!
3 Exam考试
Second thoughts are best.
Professor is handing out the examination papers to a roomful of students.
A: You will have exactly two hours. Under no circumstances will I accept a paper given to me after the deadline has passed. Do you understand?
B: Yes.
(After two hours.)
A: Time is up.
B: Wait.
(About 15 minutes later. A students come to the platform and give his paper to the professor.)
A: Didn’t you hear what I said?
B: Yes，I did. But do you know who I am! Professor?
A: No.
B: Terrific.
Then he stuffed his paper into the middle of the pile.
4 Doctors’ hunting医生们打猎
Work won't kill, but worry will.
This story is about another five doctor who went duck hunting one day. The five doctors were a general practice physician，a pediatrician, a psychiatrist，a surgeon and a pathologist.
A: Look，a bird is coming winging overhead.
B: Why did you raise your shotgun and then hesitate?
A: I am not quite sure it's a duck，I think that I will have to get a second opinion，but the bird was long gone.
B: Look! Another duck.
C: Why don't you shoot at it?
B: (Muttering) I am also unsure if it is really a duck in my sight and besides，it might have babies，I'll have to do some more investigations.
C: But the creature make good its escape.
(Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered，he was more certain of his intended prey's identity.)
D: Why do you hesitate since you know it is a duck?
C: Now，I know it's a duck，but does it know it's a duck?
(Finally，a fourth foul sped past and this time the surgeon's weapon pointed sky wards. BOOM! The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him.)
D: Good to see if that was a duck，will you?
5 The Storm of Movies 电影风暴
Variety is charming．
Mr. and Mrs. Jones seldom go out in the evening. But last Saturday, Mrs. Jones want to go to the cinema.
A: There is a good film at the cinema tonight. Shall we go and see it?
(Mr. Jones was quite happy about it. So they went and both of them enjoyed the film very much! When they came out of the cinema, it was al-ready 11 o'clock. They got into their car and began driving home. It was quite dark.)
A: Look，Bill. A woman is running along the road very fast, and a man is running after her. Can you see them?
B: Yes, I can.(Driving the car slowly near the woman)Can I help you?
C: No, thanks. My husband and I always run home after the film because whoever gets home late will wash the dishes.
6 Birthday Party 生日派对
Life is short and time is swift.
On a special Teacher's Day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. First, the florist's son handed her a gift.
A:I bet I know what it is...some flowers.
B: That is right, but how did you know?
A: Just a wild guess.
(The second pupil is the candy store owner's daughter. The teacher hands her gift over head.)
A: I bet I can guess what it is...a box of candy.
C: That's right. But how did you know?
A: Just a lucky guess.
(The third gift is from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher holds it over head but it is leaking. She touches a drop of the leakage with her finger and tastes it.)
A: Is it wine?
D: No.
(The teacher repeated the process touching another drop of leakage to her tongue.)
A: Is it champagne?
D: No.
A: Now, I give up. What is it?
D: A puppy.
（from internet)
（from internet)
