周末一笑:Five Hundred Times

来源: 南山松 2014-05-10 05:57:31 [] [博客] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 本文已被阅读: 次 (9005 bytes)
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1Five Hundred Times五百遍
 
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light.
 
She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye.
 
"You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
 
2Your Horse Called马打电话来了
 
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.
 
He asks, "What was that for?"
 
She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it."
 
He says, "Jeez, honey, 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I bet on." She shrugs and walks away.
 
Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.
 
He asks, "What was that for?"
 
She answers, "Your horse called."
 
3Midway tactics中间战术
 
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall.
 
Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
 
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale" and "Super Bargains"
 
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed" and ¨Fantastic Discounts" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE"
 
4The Best Answer 最佳答案
 
A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"
 
The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."
 
5Life after Death死后重生
 
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.
 
"Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied. “Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on.
 
 "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.
 
6I am acting like a lady我要表现得象位女士
 
One day when women’s dresses were on sale at the Fareast Department Store a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece.
 
But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women. He stood it as long as he could; then with head lowered and arms flailing he plowed through the crowed.
 
 "You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can’t you act like a gentleman?" "Listen" he said "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour.
 
From now on I am acting like a lady."

(from Internet)

所有跟帖: 

Like all the jokes,entrance sign in the middle shop(^.^) -京燕花园- 给 京燕花园 发送悄悄话 京燕花园 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 05/10/2014 postreply 09:26:32

罚写500遍罪己状,哈哈哈! -沈漓- 给 沈漓 发送悄悄话 沈漓 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 05/10/2014 postreply 10:28:10

问好小曼,燕子,沈漓,周末快乐! -南山松- 给 南山松 发送悄悄话 南山松 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 05/10/2014 postreply 14:43:31

Lifelong ambition or vengeance? -冲浪潜水员- 给 冲浪潜水员 发送悄悄话 冲浪潜水员 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 05/11/2014 postreply 02:46:11

Vengeance~~~ -南山松- 给 南山松 发送悄悄话 南山松 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 05/11/2014 postreply 18:33:49

谢南山松的周末一笑,带给我快乐。 -婉蕠- 给 婉蕠 发送悄悄话 婉蕠 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 05/11/2014 postreply 07:57:02

问好婉蕠!你快乐,我高兴:)祝新周快乐! -南山松- 给 南山松 发送悄悄话 南山松 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 05/11/2014 postreply 18:34:55

谢谢松松给我们带来的周末快乐! -~叶子~- 给 ~叶子~ 发送悄悄话 ~叶子~ 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 05/11/2014 postreply 20:36:54

问好叶子!新周快乐! -南山松- 给 南山松 发送悄悄话 南山松 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 05/12/2014 postreply 17:01:39

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