A very funny writing. Good tips to increase one’s publicity in this tiny forum. Haha~~
Just a few humble points: (学某人的口气)
1)Imagine you were your reader who, after an exhausting weekend, maybe with a hangover, or maybe after struggling with Hurricane Irene, wakes up in the morning, scans through the forum while eating breakfast, or sits down at his/her office desk, only to find your long essay to pick grammatical errors from.
>>Who 似乎离谓语太远，后面东西又太多，可不可以分成两句
Imagine you were a reader. After an exhausting weekend with a hangover or a restless night struggling with Hurricane Irene, you wake up in the morning blah blah, only to find blah blah
2)I am not going to risk getting laid reading your essay and missing my Monday one-on-one with my manager! (“off” is omitted intentionally. Haha).
>>加个due to , 要不原因结果不太通
I am not going to risk getting laid (due to) reading your essay and missing my Monday one-on-one with my manager! (“off” is omitted intentionally. Haha).
以下的句子好像都有run on问题
3)Be arrogant, show off and offend, that way, people could get annoyed by your attitude and throw bricks at you.
>> “that way” 可以连句子吗?
Be arrogant, show off and offend. In that way, people could get annoyed by your attitude and throw bricks at you.
4)how social media websites are influencing the teenagers, are they good or bad?
>> run on sentence error by using “,”
5) You have all the time of the world, maybe even pick up a fight with someone that equals your level, that way, you get to know each other better and even become good friends, like Lilac and me.
>>什么逻辑在“You have all the time of the world” and “may be….”之间, 缺连词
>>“that way” 可以连句子吗
