回复：贴在逸士看的到的首页--具体点评

要具體點評其實不難﹐只是要化時間而已。至於點評到什麼程度才能使閣下滿意﹐我
就說不上。試評如下﹕

I had my first face-off with Lulu when she was about three. 首句開宗明義
 It was a freezing winter afternoon, one of the coldest days of the year.
點出時間﹐想必與後文有關。如沒關係﹐就未必需要 Jed was at work and Sophia
was at kindergarten. I decided that it would be a perfect time to introduce
Lulu to the piano. Excited about working together, I put her on the piano
bench, on top of some comfortable pillows. I then demonstrated how to play
a single note with a single finger, evenly, three times, and asked her to
do the same. 至此平鋪直述﹐情節交代清楚﹐沒有多餘文字﹐無語法或用詞錯誤
A small request, but Lulu refused, preferring instead to smash at many notes
at the same time with two open palms. 中國人寫英文﹐有時一個情況不知如何
表達。這裡寫得簡單明瞭﹐如果寫得複雜不清﹐其寫作功力就差了 When I asked
her to stop, she smashed harder and faster. When I tried to pull her away
from the piano, she began yelling, crying, and kicking furiously. Fifteen
minutes later, she was still yelling, crying, and kicking, and I'd had it.
Dodging her blows, I dragged the screeching demon to our back porch door,
and threw it open.

行文措詞已達到英美人的一般寫作水平。最主要是沒有錯誤。不像那篇作品﹐DAY
(DATE) 前面不用ON﹐而用IN。說明那個作者的語言基本功還有問題。
評論文章好壞﹐也與鑒別字畫真假一樣﹐要多看﹐多比較﹐才能判斷。平時看得不
多的人﹐肯定辨不出好壞。

所有跟帖： 

• 谢谢海老师花时间精力写回贴点评。 -tingfeng- ♀ (19734 bytes) () 08/30/2012 postreply 14:27:05