final

Earliest memory

It seems to me we human beings experienced rapid evolution in the past 2 decades, and this is particularly true for Chinese youth. I recently visited China, and a very causal routine talk hurt me tremendously. My niece told me she began memorizing at age 3. I just did not believe it. But this doubt dissolved very soon when I was confirmed by more kids of her age. Surely enough,the memory system of the teenagers starts functioning normally well at a time around age 3. To be honest, I do not have a clear picture on my pre-school days. I blushed and got tacit for a long time.

This embarrassment turned out to be very rewarding. It motivated me, trying desperately to reach my earliest memory. One afternon, I walked into my room, and closed eyes to focus on meditation, hoping to capture some memories of my past. I endeavoured with great patience before giving up for the noise next door. The idea of seeking a quiet place sprang up. Without hesitation I drove to a less-travelled highland. I laid myself down on the soft and thick grass. This is a soundless world, except some birds were singing on the trees around. I closed my eyes leisurely, the relaxation and attention came to me immediately. Driven by the impetus of visiting my earliest past, and guided by the flowing bird music, I located and opened a door to the time-world. I saw very clearly my early school days at the entrance, and the farther I travelled, the dimmer was the sky of the past. I could hardly make my way forward as I arrived at age 5, where I was stopped by a massive barrier, a kilo times higher than the Great Wall visited at age 15. I pushed and kicked with hands and feet, and finally threw the whole of myself to the wall like a rocket at a high speed. To my disappointment, I was rejected by the wall time and time again. I felt I would soon lose all my strength. What is dramatic is, as I was making my last effort, my feet felt a titanic pressure, which eventually brought me through the enormous hard wall. I believe it was with God’s energy that I broke through the resistance and arrived at age 4.5, where I could see nothing but a few blinkings in the sky. I searched with my hands in the darkness, very lucky my hands came across something: a small and wet hand, to be accurate, a kid’s palm with one of the fingertips bleeding. All of a sudden, I realized that was my hand, I remembered being told by mom one finger of mine got stuck in a belt wheel when I was 4-year old during playing. The scar is still lying there right now, both touchable and visually identifiable. I was thus sure I had been back at age 4.

I managed with greed to move further backward. Again, I sensed on legs a magic force , which pulled me back to the wall. While I was struggling, a kind yet authoritative voice flew to me: “That’s the limit you can go back to, only the younger can go back a little further... Cheers!?”

It had been 7:00 pm when I returned back from the wonderful tour. The birds had just been away to their nests, and the land was in perfect silence. I went to my car with brain full of undiluted live fantasy!

Last but not least, on the way home I found 5 dollars dropped days ago. What an amazing day!