I think it's very good already... a couple of minor points

"a great responsibility" ==> "great responsibilities"
Not a must, but the latter sounds more natural.

"a great man" ==> "a man"
Get rid of "great" to make it more general.

"it always first" ==> "He always first"
"He" refers to God. Also note that if you use "God" instead
of "god" you are referring to the Christian/Judaism God,
not a Greek/Roman god, which in my opinion is very
appropriate. But do refer God with He/Him/His instead
of he/him/his.

"tough-minded" ==> "tough"
The former sounds redundant.

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• 非常专业。全部下载。谢谢大师的条条教诲。 -qiuqiu04- ♀ (0 bytes) () 07/20/2008 postreply 20:06:02