【加队】试翻一打油Limerick

 

A flea and a fly in a flue,

Were trapped and knew not what to do,

Said the fly , 'Let us flee'

'Let us fly', said the flea,

So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

飞蝇跳蚤哦掉烟笛

愁脸对看啊苦希希

飞蝇催，“快，咱跳”

“不，咱飞”， 跳蚤叫

亏有一孔兄弟终逃离

第一句也可改作“飞蝇跳蚤哦烟道迷”，谢坛友们指正。limerick字义浅显，觉得没必要意译。这里我用一个汉字对应一个音节来译，想尽量翻出里面的节奏和趣味。

所有跟帖： 

• Nice ... -Lucidus- ♂ (29 bytes) () 02/08/2013 postreply 21:17:34

• 多谢指正。已做了更正改动。 -淘金客- ♂ (0 bytes) () 02/09/2013 postreply 04:19:13

• Good! Does this flue refer to chimney? -聚曦亭- ♀ (0 bytes) () 02/08/2013 postreply 21:53:56

• 多谢指正。没错，flue是烟囱里面的烟管或烟道，觉得这也太大太容易逃掉，做了改动。银应写作烟. -淘金客- ♂ (0 bytes) () 02/09/2013 postreply 03:49:45

• Ding！ -beautifulwind- ♀ (0 bytes) () 02/08/2013 postreply 22:42:19

• 再看看改进版和说明？：）） -淘金客- ♂ (0 bytes) () 02/09/2013 postreply 04:21:40

• 回复：：））不知道烟囱里的烟管是什么样的？恭喜发财！万事如意！：） -淘金客- ♂ (45 bytes) () 02/09/2013 postreply 06:48:32

• 回复：An Interesting limerick!Thank you for the new version! They r -淘金客- ♂ (46 bytes) () 02/09/2013 postreply 06:54:03

• 鼓掌!过年好! -rockcurrent- ♂ (0 bytes) () 02/09/2013 postreply 21:22:34

• 谢了。新春快乐！ -淘金客- ♂ (0 bytes) () 02/10/2013 postreply 09:10:00