英诗汉译 I Think I Should Have Loved You Presently by Edna St. Vince

来源: 马下人于 2015-03-02 11:03:18 [档案] [博客] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 本文已被阅读：次 (17906 bytes)

对我，这是一首比较难翻译的诗。我不敢说我翻译得对。欢迎讨论。

I Think I Should Have Loved You Presently

by Edna St. Vincent Millay

I think I should have loved you presently,

And given in earnest words I flung in jest;

And lifted honest eyes for you to see,

And caught your hand against my cheek and breast;

And all my pretty follies flung aside

That won you to me, and beneath your gaze,

Naked of reticence and shorn of pride,

Spread like a chart my little wicked ways.

I, that had been to you, had you remained,

But one more waking from a recurrent dream,

Cherish no less the certain stakes I gained,

And walk your memory’s halls, austere, supreme,

A ghost in marble of a girl you knew

Who would have loved you in a day or two.

我想我没准儿很快爱上你by Edna St. Vincent Millay

翻译：高兴

我想我没准儿很快爱上你,

对你诚恳地讲话而不是躲闪回避；

并且抬起诚实的双眼给你看，

让你用手在我的脸颊和胸前游弋；

并且把所有的娇柔矫揉造作一并收起

即使它们曾为我赢得了你，并任你上下凝睇，

去掉保留，撇掉自尊，

平摊开来，让我娇嗔的样子一览无余。

如果我早就这样做，我们不会分离，

但我再次被从类似的梦中唤起，

过去那些教训绝对不能忘记，

这样，我从你记忆的殿堂走出，冷静，高傲地，

如大理石雕像的幽灵，那个你似乎了解的女孩，

她没准儿一两天后会爱上你。

这是一首讲爱情的诗。即使在英语世界，人们在分析作者的本意时，也有两种猜测。一种是男人抛弃女人，另一种是女人抛弃男人。后一种见解是少数，我只见过一篇文章。见： http://www.pipsqueakery.net/poetry-thursday-edna-st-vincent-millay-and-the-sassy-love-sonnet/ 但我的分析与此文章相近，因此按这一思路作的翻译。我把这一翻译放在这里以期引起讨论。

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所有跟帖：

• 谢谢高兴分享好诗好译.新周快乐! -南山松- ♀ (0 bytes) () 03/02/2015 postreply 17:51:03

• 主人翁应该是女的。原文用完成时的虚拟语态, -聚曦亭- ♀ (142 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 06:08:58

• 谢谢 -马下人- ♂ (0 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 06:19:18

• 挥之不去的疑问--我想我们应该认真讨论一下 -马下人- ♂ (553 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 08:30:50

• History of Sonnet Rhymes -马下人- ♂ (1481 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 08:47:51

• Is Chinese language RHYME Poor? -马下人- ♂ (206 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 08:58:43

• Is there a theory that says we need to keep the rhyme scheme? -马下人- ♂ (46 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 09:01:05

• will read -马下人- ♂ (93 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 09:13:21

• 忙到现在才有点空，这几行能说明她是女性 -聚曦亭- ♀ (358 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 11:08:40

• See if you can discuss my translation in detail -马下人- ♂ (155 bytes) () 03/03/2015 postreply 14:32:30

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