都很现实
YES:
Emotional & Relationship Reasons
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Love and commitment — wanting a lifelong partner.
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Desire for companionship — not wanting to go through life alone.
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Stability and trust — marriage formalizes a dependable bond.
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Building a family — wanting children within a stable structure.
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Deepening intimacy — emotional, romantic, even spiritual closeness.
Family & Social Reasons
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Shared values and cultural expectations — some cultures place high value on marriage.
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Family pressure or encouragement — parents or relatives may view marriage as a milestone.
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Social recognition — marriage can legitimize the relationship in society.
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Religious beliefs — many religions consider marriage a sacred duty.
Practical & Economic Reasons
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Financial benefits — tax advantages, shared expenses, pooled assets.
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Healthcare and insurance — easier access to spouse benefits.
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Immigration or residency purposes — legal path to stay in a country.
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Household efficiency — sharing responsibilities and resources.
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Retirement benefits — Social Security spousal benefits, pensions.
Personal Growth Reasons
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Emotional support system — someone in your corner through life’s ups and downs.
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Shared life goals — building something meaningful together.
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Motivation and accountability — a partner can help you grow as a person.
Lifestyle & Life Planning
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Desire for a structured life — some people like the clarity and stability.
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Celebration of partnership — wedding as a meaningful ritual.
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Creating a legacy — family, children, shared accomplishments.
NO:
Emotional & Relationship Reasons
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Not ready for long-term commitment — emotionally or mentally.
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Unresolved personal issues — trauma, insecurity, or instability.
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Fear of losing independence — some people value autonomy deeply.
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Different life goals — career, lifestyle, or children preferences misaligned.
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High conflict relationship — marriage won’t fix existing problems.
Practical & Financial Reasons
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Financial risk — divorce can be extremely costly.
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Debt issues — partner’s debt becomes a burden.
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Asset protection — keeping wealth separate.
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Better tax situation when single — especially for high earners.
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Alimony exposure — especially dangerous if incomes differ.
Personal Lifestyle Reasons
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Preference for freedom — no legal or relational constraints.
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Enjoy single life — independence, mobility, fewer compromises.
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Career focus — marriage adds obligations and reduces flexibility.
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Not wanting children — marriage often comes with that expectation.
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Avoiding in-law complexities — family conflicts can be significant.
? Legal & Structural Reasons
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Divorce laws often unfavorable — depending on country/state.
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Prenuptial agreements can be awkward or rejected.
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Domestic responsibilities become legally enforced.
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Complicated joint financial entanglements — accounts, property, taxes.
Social & Cultural Reasons
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No longer necessary for social recognition — cohabitation widely accepted.
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Social pressure is declining.
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Some view marriage as outdated or unnecessary.
Historical & Demographic Reasons
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High divorce rates — globally 40–60% in many countries.
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Longevity has changed marriage — a 50+ year commitment is very long.
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People change significantly over decades — personal evolution mismatches.
? Emotional Protection
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Avoiding emotional pain from divorce.
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Avoiding emotional dependence.
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Avoiding being trapped in a bad marriage — especially if leaving is costly.
Check List:
Marriage Decision Checklist
1. Emotional Readiness
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Do I truly enjoy this person’s company long-term, not just short-term romance?
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Can we talk openly about difficult issues without fear?
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Is the relationship stable, not on-and-off?
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Do I feel respected, valued, and emotionally safe?
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Do I trust this person fully?
2. Compatibility
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Are our values aligned (money, honesty, work ethic, family)?
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Do we want the same lifestyle (city vs. suburbs, quiet vs. social)?
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Do we agree on whether to have children or not?
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Do our financial habits match (saving, spending, risk tolerance)?
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Do we handle stress and conflict in compatible ways?
3. Financial Stability & Fairness
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Do I understand their income, debt, savings, and spending habits?
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Is either person financially dependent in a way that creates risk?
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Do we have a plan for protecting assets (prenup, separate accounts, trusts)?
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Will marriage improve or worsen my financial position?
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Are we aligned on retirement expectations?
4. Life Goals and Future Plans
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Are we aligned on where to live long-term?
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Do we share similar expectations for work-life balance?
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Do we want similar levels of travel, social life, and family involvement?
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Have we discussed aging, caregiving, and health expectations?
5. Legal and Risk Considerations
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Do I understand the legal consequences of marriage in my state?
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Do I know the costs/risks if the marriage ends (divorce, alimony, asset division)?
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Will marriage complicate or simplify things like estate planning and healthcare access?
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Should I consult a lawyer before marrying?
6. Relationship Quality Under Stress
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Have we experienced real stress together (job loss, illness, conflict)?
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Did we handle it as a team, or did it tear us apart?
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Do we recover quickly after disagreements?
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Do we both apologize and take responsibility?
7. Independence & Personal Identity
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Do I still feel like myself in this relationship?
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Can I keep my personal independence, friends, hobbies, and goals?
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Am I marrying because I want to — not because of loneliness, pressure, or fear?
8. Motivation Check
Ask yourself honestly:
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Am I marrying out of love, or out of convenience?
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Am I afraid of being alone?
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Am I trying to fix problems by marrying? (Warning sign)
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Would I still choose this person if nothing changed in the next 20 years?
