parents

when would be a good time to take parents in? 

my parents are 67/71, both healthy, especially my dad,  they both do sports (men qiou) at the retirement personnel center. my dad volunteered to maintain the facility for free.   they live on their own back home. my brother and his wife live in the same town, without kid. Parents have been living by themselves very long. They sometimes fight, but just normal, nothing really serious,  seems mostly they get along fine.  they cook lunch for my brother and his wife on weekdays (they go to parents' house for lunch).

my mom keeps giving me the pressure that she wants to move in with my family forever, I have two kids (9 and 6), hu*****and's job has not been stable in the last 3-4 years, and recently lost job again. most important,  it is really hard for me to get along with my mom for long.  my dad is actually fine.  

When I was little my mom always yelled and talked about bad words about my dad's sisters and brothers, basically she helped them but they never paid back, and they always treated her too bad that she hated them all the time. I was pretty happy to leave for college back then.

years ago, I finally rented a two-bed room apartment in beijing so my parents could stay when they came.  my mom threw a big temper over some little things the first time she visited.  I felt the old life came back again and decided to leave the country.

now it is still hard to stay close to her for long.  I dont' know, I feel I can stand her for half year, one year,  but forever?  It is really hard for me to say yes.  I was thinking they could live on their own for a couple more years as long as they can,   but my mom just keeps giving me the pressure that she wants me to take care of her because she is old and she raised me. She somehow feels my dad is not good enough.I guess of course I treat her better than my dad does, I have more energy and can do more than my dad.  but I still feel awful if she really moves in. they never took their parents in when they were old. 

when do parents in china now move in with their kids' family?  I am not saying I don't want them in, I am just trying to wait till it is necessary. am I so wrong?

所有跟帖： 

• 国内老人大多自己生活，除了年级太大自己一个人照顾不了自己的时候 -showshowww- ♀ (0 bytes) () 03/15/2012 postreply 13:33:51

• 家家都有难念的经! 如果你心里不愿意, 干脆就别答应. 给自己找罪受干什么呢? -lcats- ♀ (0 bytes) () 03/15/2012 postreply 13:33:59

• 不管什么时候住在一起， -宝贝的妈- ♀ (49 bytes) () 03/15/2012 postreply 13:50:45

• 隔着千山万水呢。。。多回去看看，多听他们念经，多关心他们。。。但没必要勉强自己。 -香香生煎馒头- ♀ (0 bytes) () 03/15/2012 postreply 14:00:50

• 他们很年轻啊。我老爸八十多岁自己照顾自己，不肯和我哥或姐住，也不愿和他们吃饭，图自由。 -g18- ♀ (0 bytes) () 03/15/2012 postreply 14:02:53

• 我的很多RELATIVES80多,都LIVE　INDEPENDENT,如果自己能自理,没必要给子女添乱。 -katies- ♀ (101 bytes) () 03/15/2012 postreply 14:54:54

• 和你弟弟商量,坚持让父母在国内养老,你弟弟多出力,你多出钱 -abby305- ♀ (0 bytes) () 03/15/2012 postreply 15:43:38

• 最好在父母需要别人照料的时候，再住到一起。 -mapesbel- ♀ (85 bytes) () 03/15/2012 postreply 16:32:09