我的年终总结

我的年终总结

My past one year was quite Eventful. Yes, Full of Events. Certainly not all were joyful, but each had a funny side, if you look from a certain angle.

1. A bloody-showoff moment turned into a diplomatic disaster  

I had saved a bottle of the famous1992 GreatWall Red from my trip to Guangdong in 2007. I was introduced to it at a dinner hosted by the governor of the province and was amazed by how good it tasted. Our other hosts were generous enough to let me take one bottle back, which I had been saving for a special occasion. 

 That special occasion turned out to be a family dinner in a nice Italian restaurant in San Francisco, with my hu*****and’s entire family including Mr. Daubtfire (my sister’s Italian father-in-law), who is a wine maker himself and is famous for having a big cellar with at least 500 bottles of wine.  

Things might be less embarrassing for me, and for my country, if I hadn’t bragged all around that I was bringing the best wine from China.  Mr. Daubtfire took one sip at it before rendering the verdict, quite emotionlessly, that “there is no way this wine is more than 4 years old.” 

I have to admit that it did not taste the same to me either, as it did in 2007.  My best guess has been that the governor served the real 1992 GreatWall Red in Guangdong, and my dear colleagues in China bought me a fake one to take back to the US.

 

2. The crazy family vacation

My entire family – 姐姐姐夫，公公婆婆，我和老公 – took our vacation together in June.

Wherever we went, the six of us constantly drew attention from other people –With me and my mother-in-law always chatting and laughing in our loudest voice, my father-in-law looking flat-out clueless, my hu*****and and his sister being forever annoyed by their mother, and my white brother-in-law having to shout at everyone to stop blocking the traffic, we looked like an international circus! 

But that is not the highlight of the trip.

 My mother-in-law blamed my father-in-law for everything that went wrong. So at one point the rest of us decided to teach her a lesson.  My brother-in-law pulled out a “character test”, we started to determine the personality of each one of us on this trip.

Things went hilarious when it came to one character trait – control freak.

我们聚在一起研究什么是“control freak” – 姐姐大声地念出 control freak 的定义，我婆婆没反应。于是 姐姐开始做自我批评：“我觉得自己真是有点 control freak。” 姐夫马上表示赞同。 我当仁不让地批判老公：“他才是典型的 control freak” 我老公点头承认。

"Uh, it must run in the family then." 姐夫接着补充。

All according to plan.

轮到我婆婆了。她老人家看了看定义，斩钉截铁地说：你们爸爸没有 control freak 的迹象。然后宣布测验结束。

We were speechless, but had to move on to the next topic.  

半个小时以后，我婆婆突然福至心灵起来：啊，我知道谁是 control freak 了: 

We were all waiting with hope: 

“就是香港的那个张柏芝啊！“ 

She offered no explanation, so it remained a myth to all of us why she could not see that the definition fits herself squarely?

Even more mysterious – why for heaven’s sake did张柏芝 come to her mind???

 

3. 婆婆遇上妈

那以后不久，我公公婆婆突然访问纽约。 

虽然只给了我们3天的准备时间，我还是决定，almost subconsciously，to show them the best of our life.  

从机场将公婆接回家，我一路上大肆渲染我们周围的自然环境： “我们现在路过的这一片居民区，是长岛最富的地方。。。不，我们不住在这里，从这里出去，再开20分钟就到我们家了，不太远。。。快看这片海滩，多美啊!！这个就在我们家附近，您早晨或是傍晚散步就可以到这里，您可以坐下来享受海天一色的美景，还有海鸥在身边飞舞。。。你们现在来长岛最好了，因为秋天是我们这里最美丽的季节啊！。。。” 

那天的晚餐在家里吃，我们烹饪之外，还从外面叫了新鲜的 clam chowder 和 New York Cheese Cake（both my mother-in-law’s favorite），准备了上好的红酒和香槟。桌子上铺着我们最漂亮的桌布，我和老公在饭桌边上演了已经停演N年之久的相敬如宾和举案齐眉。那天晚上我们家母慈子孝，其乐融融。 

演过了。 

第二天早上，我婆婆就拨通了北京的电话：“Z老师啊，你赶快过来吧！宁宁他们的生活好极了！他们住在富人区  ---  的边上啊，他们家不远处就是一片海滩，你早晨或是傍晚散步都可以到那里，你可以坐下来享受海天一色的美景，还有海鸥在身边飞舞。。。你要抓紧过来啊，因为秋天是他们这里最美丽的季节啊！。。。” 

我听见我妈在电话的那头大声叫着：“哎呀那太好啦！我就喜欢海啊，我最喜欢和海鸥作伴啦！我马上让宁宁给我订机票，下个月我就过去！“ 

就这样，在没有征求我们意见的情况下，我婆婆把我妈给邀请来了。

 

As you can all guess, from that point on, the rest of the year 2011 was a tragedy, and is TO BE CONTINUED.  

The rest of the story婆婆遇上妈, will be an article by itself and will be published sometime in 2012.

所有跟帖： 

• lol, waiting for 婆婆遇上妈 - 杯洗具 -y2001- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 09:29:32

• 我现在没洗，全都尼玛杯具啊！ -简宁宁- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 09:32:29

• 哈哈，你这个PP太有个性了 -Meowsic- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 09:31:45

• pls continue..can't wait! hahaa -sunshine豬媽- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 09:34:13

• 好热闹啊-->回复：我的年终总结 -source4book.com- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 09:36:53

• 真是太逗了。很喜欢你的文章，都充满了油墨气息。 -yining99- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 09:47:24

• 太有意思了, 特羡慕人家幽默 -白篱细竹- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 09:47:39

• 一并谢谢楼上几位！幽默来自于苦难，我杯具透顶的时候最幽默 -简宁宁- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 09:49:17

• 长城红葡萄酒？ 没有听说过啊。 -HenryLi- ♂ (29 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 09:56:21

• 北京很多。 -我也有话说- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 10:34:46

• 长城红葡萄酒很有名啊，长城干红貌似中国葡萄酒第一呢。 -稻穗儿- ♀ (29 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 10:45:55

• Thank You！！ -简宁宁- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 10:49:28

• 我太孤陋寡闻了。 -HenryLi- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 10:51:57

• LOL. Cannot wait for the rest. -shparis- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 10:01:19

• 回国结婚的时候，劳工尝了长城红葡萄酒，回头说:所谓的最好的中国红酒，实在不敢恭维，呵呵 -臭臭妈妈- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 10:01:43

• 长城红葡萄酒确实不错，如果是真的的话。 -reichthedog- ♀ (223 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 11:22:08

• 听听，都听听，质疑我不懂酒的同学们！！！ -简宁宁- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 11:32:22

• 我记错年份了，最好的是1992年的 -简宁宁- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 11:33:28

• 知道为什么2012 大灾难了，“婆婆遇上妈”， 俺的灾难2002年已经发生过了。 -不上树的猫- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 10:03:24

• 看来你不喝酒啊。 长城红葡萄酒太小儿科啦。。。我们这儿超市2块钱一瓶儿。 -lavendar99- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 10:14:08

• i am quite good at wine tasting, but the real 1996 was really go -简宁宁- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 10:33:47

• 二十年前，长城的成本价就是将近五刀，如果是酿造的话。 -reichthedog- ♀ (47 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 11:28:58

• 太感谢了，您是真懂酒啊！您哪儿的，老乡吗？ -简宁宁- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 11:35:52

• Come on people, I have very sharp palate~~ -简宁宁- ♀ (58 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 10:40:42

• 懂酒的人才知道。 -我也有话说- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 10:42:29

• 要把家里的酒先晒出来看看 :) -Meowsic- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 10:43:50

• Or it was just my 珍珠翡翠白玉汤？ -简宁宁- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 10:48:18

• 哈哈，演过了。这次为什么大部分用英文写？ -巴西木- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 10:49:26

• It stopped being funny after translation ~~ -简宁宁- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 10:51:12

• 和白酒不一样，葡萄酒并不是越陈越好。。。 -让股票飞- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 11:46:35

• 这总结是写给谁看的？为什么半英半中？ -房崇- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 12:00:48

• 没明白，你那瓶酒在你那里就放了十几年，你姐姐的公公怎么 -laota- ♀ (158 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 15:46:20

• 呵呵，是我的错，我把时间全弄混了。酒是1992 年的， -简宁宁- ♀ (74 bytes) () 12/23/2011 postreply 04:40:09

• 你的中文比英文好很多. -tgifriday- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/22/2011 postreply 21:24:34

• 这个小东西为什么会一半中一半英呢？ -简宁宁- ♀ (651 bytes) () 12/23/2011 postreply 05:01:54