I think you are talking about me

for about 8 years after divorce, I always encouraged my son to call his father and I even gave him calling card. In my mind, he needed the father image to help him grow, even though what his father asked was" how are you doing?", "do not date while you are in school, study hard"....

my current hu*****and said that I was trying to build a artifial father/son relationship, and actually his talking with my son is more encouraging for his life

since my son moved in with me when he was 13, his father did not pay a single cent for his living and education (I did not ask during divorce). the only thing he paid was two plane tickets to see him (and I asked for both because I sent him home).

I never tried to tell my son to hate his father, but I do not like the thought he is trying to build the brother/sister and his family relationship, which I know he is doing. I did hate his father for a while after divorce, now now, especially I have a wonderful relationship myself.

thanks.