脸皮厚一次在英文诗歌网站贴了100多首有过两次上首页一次是翻译余秀华的

来源: 颤音于 2021-04-30 08:27:40 [档案] [博客] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 本文已被阅读：次 (4294 bytes)

横店村的下午

余秀华

恰巧阳光正好，照到坡上的屋脊，照到一排白杨

照到一方方小水塘，照到水塘边的水草

照到匍匐的蕨类植物。照到油菜，小麦

光阴不够平整，被那么多的植物分取

被一头牛分取，被水中央的鸭子分取

被一个个手势分取

同时，也被我分取

我用分取的光阴凑足了半辈子

母亲用这些零碎凑足了一头白发

只有万物欢腾

——它们又凑足了一个春天

我们在这样的春天里

不过是把横店村重新捂热一遍

One afternoon in the village Hengdian

The sun shines exactly as needed, on the roofs on the hill, on a row of aspen trees
Shines on many square ponds, on the reed in the edge of the ponds
Shines on the crawling ferns. Shines on canola, wheat
The alternating light and darkness aren’t fair or regular, shared by many plants
One share for a cow, one share for the ducks in the water
Shared by many hand gestures
At the same time, shared by me
I piece together my share of light and darkness into half a life
Mother pieces together her trivial share into all white hairs on her head
Only all other creatures frolic
—They piece together another spring
We reside in this spring
Merely envelope Hengdian into warmth again

originally written in Chinese by Xiuhua Yu, translated by xx

Like (6)

Comment - What did you think?

Likes: kevin, Mariovitale227, Owain, Hosein shafiei, Cal Smith, rcampbell13To reply, click a comment.

Owain - I love that 'sun shines exactly as needed'. It emphasises to me that nature does what it sees best and not what we want it to do but that generally our needs/desires match what nature is willing to provide. This poem describes one of those times. 2 years ago x

xx - Thanks for your kind comments2 years ago x edit

Cal Smith - A very nice picture of a little village. A little too much word repetition though.
It might be better, for example, to write:

"The sun shines exactly as needed,
on the roofs on the hill,
with its row of aspen trees.
And on the many square ponds
with aquatic grasses on their edges.

It shines on crawling ferns
and on canola wheat.
The alternating light and darkness
isn't fair or regular,
because it's shared by many plants."

But all in all, the poem is great.2 years ago x
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xx - Thanks very much for your comments and suggestion. Yes, repetition seems too much here. The repetition was in the original poem, I just translated them literally. I was cautious in case repetition itself was intentional and delivered some message from the author. But I agree with you that repetition doesn't seem necessary here and interfere its read. Thanks again!2 years ago x edit

Mariovitale227 - nicely written piece you got here very good you know really in its piece you got here

Thx.2 years ago x

xx - Thank you so much for your wonderful comments!

The following is a comment from a professor who teaches poetry in a college of liberal arts.

I admire greatly your translations from the Chinese, most especially the one by Xiuhua Yu. The idea, very well handled in your translation, of light unequally shared among the creatures, is an arresting one. It's astonishing that you have found a way to render the poem in such smooth and musical English.