英诗汉译 Pied Beauty

Thank for discussions and suggestions.  This is my second pass.   I think that I am one step closer.

Pied Beauty by Gerald Manley Hopkins Glory be to God for dappled things —   For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;     For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim; Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches' wings;   Landscape plotted and pieced — fold, fallow, and plough;     And áll trádes, their gear and tackle and trim. All things counter, original, spare, strange;   Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)     With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim; He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change: Praise him.

缤纷的美丽by Gerald Manley Hopkins 翻译 高兴   赞美我主让世界五彩斑斓- 奶牛的花斑镶成彩云片片； 鱒魚的彩鳞游出迷雾团团； 熟栗坠地如火跃， 红雀鼓翅漫天旋； 田亩畦畦，牧场，闲地和耕地； 工贸济济，用具，装置与机器。   凭它匪夷所思，粗陋，无用或出奇； 或瞬息万变，或若隐若现（谁知为何）？ 是快，是慢， 是酸， 是甜； 是闪光， 是黯淡； 所造皆美丽， 唯造物之美不变： 赞美祂吧。

诸位的鼓励和建议对我帮助很大。 再次感谢。

I think that I made a big improvement by figuring out the grammar structure of the last paragraph.  The poem should read

He fathers-forth
All things counter, original, spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
His beauty is past change:               
Praise him.

With this in mind the 'counter' should be an adjective.  I used 匪夷所思 for things that are not what we normally imagine.

另外， 接受聚曦亭的建议将“红雀鼓翅任飞旋”改为“ 红雀鼓翅漫天旋”以减少动感。

Welcome further suggestion and criticize.

所有跟帖： 

• "或瞬息万变，或若隐若现（谁知为何）？"这句的英文语法分析 -rancho2008- ♀ (457 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 10:09:02

• your revised comprehension -聚曦亭- ♀ (192 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 12:09:58

• I see difficulties in your explanation -马下人- ♂ (2619 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 14:19:48

• 我的理解 -聚曦亭- ♀ (1021 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 15:13:40

• 我也认为counter作为动词理解比较好，尽管 -rancho2008- ♀ (600 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 16:34:03

• 马先生把它当主语理解是对的 -聚曦亭- ♀ (0 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 17:05:51

• 马先生把它当noun　phrase， 名词短语，那就没有主语了。 -rancho2008- ♀ (0 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 20:23:49

• 谢谢指出！有点忙。有点跟丢了的感觉。 -聚曦亭- ♀ (6 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 20:24:51

• Thank for the suggestion. Below is my thinking -马下人- ♂ (101 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 14:44:22

• This is my read of the last paragraph-- -马下人- ♂ (770 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 21:38:23

• As I said earlier, the first sentence ends after the question ma -rancho2008- ♀ (400 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 22:37:52