Thank for discussions and suggestions. This is my second pass. I think that I am one step closer.
| Pied Beauty by Gerald Manley Hopkins Glory be to God for dappled things — For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow; For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim; Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches' wings; Landscape plotted and pieced — fold, fallow, and plough; And áll trádes, their gear and tackle and trim. All things counter, original, spare, strange; Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?) With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim; He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change: Praise him. |
缤纷的美丽by Gerald Manley Hopkins 翻译 高兴
赞美我主让世界五彩斑斓- 奶牛的花斑镶成彩云片片；
鱒魚的彩鳞游出迷雾团团； 田亩畦畦，牧场，闲地和耕地； 工贸济济，用具，装置与机器。
凭它匪夷所思，粗陋，无用或出奇； 或瞬息万变，或若隐若现（谁知为何）？ 是快，是慢， 是酸， 是甜； 是闪光， 是黯淡； 所造皆美丽， 唯造物之美不变： 赞美祂吧。 |
诸位的鼓励和建议对我帮助很大。 再次感谢。
I think that I made a big improvement by figuring out the grammar structure of the last paragraph. The poem should read
He fathers-forth
All things counter, original, spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
His beauty is past change:
Praise him.
With this in mind the 'counter' should be an adjective. I used 匪夷所思 for things that are not what we normally imagine.
另外， 接受聚曦亭的建议将“红雀鼓翅任飞旋”改为“ 红雀鼓翅漫天旋”以减少动感。
Welcome further suggestion and criticize.
